


Battleship Chains

by AshValentine6



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe- Pacific Rim, Character Death, Loneliness, M/M, Rough Sex, angry kisses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-13 06:58:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshValentine6/pseuds/AshValentine6
Summary: After a momentous defeat had rendered Armitage Hux's passion for the Jaeger Program useless, he's called back to action by a former general who informs him that the end of the world is surely on the horizon. He resolves to keep his distance and only aid in overseeing training and construction. That is, until he spars with Ben Solo.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been more excited for something as I am right now! I've loved Pacific Rim ever since it came out and when I saw [this amazing artwork](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/post/158422348278/insert-pacrims-crazy-intro-soundtrack) by [jeusus](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/) on tumblr I needed to fuse these two concepts together. I didn't realize how much I wanted to write this and I was up until 2:30 am because the ideas keep flowing. <3 I hope it doesn't disappoint! Thank you all for reading! <3 Here is the first chapter!
> 
> This is set in place of the movie, so I'm hoping not to leave a lot of themes exactly the same but if you've seen Pacific Rim you know how it ends and this will probably follow closely along the lines of that but with a few major to minor differences here and there.
> 
> EDIT: I apologize for any math slip ups, in my defense I was up nearly all night writing and editing and I'm terrible at arithmetic haha.
> 
> Little side note: The title is a reference to [Battleship Chains by Volbeat](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/volbeat/battleshipchains.html).

December 3rd, 2024 marks four years since the last time Armitage Hux has piloted a Jaeger. This also happens to be his twenty fifth birthday. Seeing one looming defeated before him in Tokyo precisely on the beach front sends a jolt through him as the waters rage against the shore, a fallen Kaiju sending up tsunami worthy waves.

This wasn’t the first time he’d seen a Category IV Kaiju, in fact two of them had destroyed his very own Jaeger- _Starkiller Superior_ \- which he’d built under the supervision of the leading designers of the program, his father Brendol Hux and an Admiral of the Royal British Navy- Rae Sloane who'd contributed many techniques and ideas to the program. Hux had been fourteen when the first Kaiju attacked on K-Day, destroying San Francisco. He remembers that day cleary.

His mother was a world renowned neuro-surgeon who’d been on call in that city while Hux was at school in London with his twin brother Techie. The emergency monitors had lit up in every room showcasing the death of his mother in a blaze of wretched agony that lasted six days in total. After, his father left them to search for her corpse. They didn’t hear of it for a month until his sullen return. Ever since he’d seen the name of that first city blaze across the screen he’d hated Kaijus. Just two years later he’d joined the Jaeger program and began inventing blueprints and building the mechs that his father had urged to all of the world's governments to begin construction on after four Kaiju attacks had already proved too difficult to conquer while employing time consuming methods. Sloane had started to take care of the boys in the absence of their father and though she could never fill the position completely, she'd become a strong motherly figure in his life as well as helping him to train in combat and getting him and his brother into the necessary classes that would provide a sense of defense which he’d had a loss for previously. Hux was a brilliant engineer already at that age, having graduated primary school and having moved on to secondary by the time his mother was killed in that first attack. He’d began with the intent to create, and progressed into the desire to destroy.

He’d grown furious with the pilots who’d attempted to test run his first Jaeger, a Mark 2 dubbed _Borderline Effect_ and soon after he’d constructed and designed the pride of his legacy  _Starkiller Superior_ he’d joined the Jaeger program with the goal of killing the creatures that had stolen his mother from him. Techie was easily drift compatible and their first battle with a Kaiju as a Mark 3 Jaeger took place in San Diego, California against a Category III which resulted in bitter victory. Code named _Daggerstrike_ the monster had fought past the Miracle Mile and had reached the harbor before the two brothers had managed to bring the beast down. His father hadn’t spoken to them when they’d got back except to relay a status report of infrastructure lost and total death toll which had come out to be less than a hundred. Still those numbers haunted him, haunted the younger Hux as he’d began to imagine the mothers, the fathers, the children lost because they’d let the Kaiju get that far. But he’d only had so little time to mourn before he was back out there fighting Kaijus never letting one get past his Jager again.

It wasn’t until he was twenty, fighting alongside his twin, that they’d met a match that would shatter Hux’s ambitions completely. It was 2020 and the Jaeger program was still at the height of its glory. They were defending Manila with two other Jaegers which Hux had built as well, confident in their defensive strategy when Hux was sure he'd refined their fighting technique enough to conquer the enemy in a few swift blows. They'd been bold enough to assume they'd do so without a hindrance obscuring their path to a total of nine Kaijus killed when another additional Category IV sprung from the ocean floor, ripping their Jaeger straight down the middle. Both Kaijus got two miles into the city before  _Electric Ruby_ and _Rebel Enforcer_ took the beasts down. Techie had been gravely injured, the conn-pod doing little to shelter his body when the metal had caved in to render his legs useless, cutting them clean off while blinding him in the process. Hux had been largely uninjured, escaping with little more than some broken bones and afterwards he'd helped to design his brothers cybernetic legs and bionic eyes after the incident, refusing much sleep for weeks until he'd had them perfected. Techie was more endearing and kind than Hux and if it were him, he wouldn't have taken it in stride the way his brother did as if nothing had happened besides a freak accident that Hux couldn't help feeling solely responsible for.

After that he'd built one more Jaeger but left it unfinished, no longer invested in the one project that had kept the fire of survival burning steadily in his chest. He no longer had a co-pilot who was drift compatible and with the loss of his brother in his head, he refused to let anyone else in. How could he? There would never be anyone with the same connection, nothing as strong and so he left the program much to his father's disappointment and Rae’s dismay. Her reaction left more of an impact but even then it dissipated over time, leading him into the career of advancing architecture along the coast. He refused to work on the Wall of Life, knowing its ability to do nothing against a Kaiju attack ahead of time but he couldn't help trying to somewhat improve buildings. His reputation as one of the leading engineers on the Jaeger program proceeded him and many were willing to be his clients.

“Armitage Hux, if it hasn't been a long time!” The wind whips some of Hux’s perfectly slicked back hair around, the far off beach swarming with first responders and rubberneckers. Hux averts his gaze from the scene to look behind him on the crowded overpass, glimpsing two people approaching. One was a famous Jaeger pilot- Poe Dameron, co-pilot of the _X Machina_ alongside Jessika Pava- and the other being the general whom he'd served under for years before the incident that wounded Techie- Leia Organa. Poe claps Hux on the shoulder enthusiastically, though rather annoyingly so and Hux can't help but grimace at the action.

“Poe, it's always nice to see you. And General Organa, also a pleasant surprise.” Hux knows that it isn't. He doesn't want to hear another proposition to get him back into the program- as a pilot or a builder, he won't accept the offer. “I see we've lost another Jaeger.” Hux nods to the collapsed mech on the sand, knowing the pilots are safe even from this distance. The indicator is Dameron’s increasingly vexatious joyful mood.

“Yes, that's why I've come to talk to you.” Hux steels himself. He'd had a modest time working under her. She wasn't the best but she certainly wasn't the worst. Her desire to protect innocent lives had eventually worn down on him but Techie had seemed to agree with her most of the time. After his first battle, Hux began to think more logically; sentiment clouded one's reflexes and allowed for a wider margin of error.

“I'm listening,” He really wishes he weren't. His father had died two years ago from a heart attack and Techie was still working in the San Francisco shatterdome. It was a kind of homage to pretending he was protecting their mother's memory.

“The Pan Pacific Defense Corp’s Jaeger Program seems to be drawing to a close. We've relocated it to San Francisco which I suspect is a kind of sick joke played by the International Defense Council.” Leia gazes out at the scene on the beach in consternation, coming to stand at Hux’s side. “I am aware of your feelings towards the program, and I wouldn't have come to you unless the situation was grave, as it has now become.” She fixes him with her icy stare now. The information about the situation being grave piques his interest slightly, but not enough to merit a response yet. “Funding is coming to a senseless end, and yet the Wall of Life project persists after it already proved futile in defending Tokyo.” She nods toward the beach and Hux swallows, returning his eyes to the scene before meeting hers again. “We only have five Jaegers in service, and we need them now more than ever. There has been a swell in the attacks and I fear something worse will happen if we don't make a move on the Breach soon.” Hux has heard this before.

“Everything we throw at it still isn't enough. I'm not sure what I could possibly contribute,” Hux mutters contritely, brushing his chin with his forefinger as he continues to glare at the imposing ocean. He'd loved beaches before the first Kaiju attack.

“We need you back out there, Armitage please. Even if you don't want to pilot, we still need help. The Jaeger you were building before-”

“No.” He turns on her then, standing nearly a foot taller. “The _First Order_ was mine and mine alone. I was designing it to approximate mine and Techie’s co-piloting techniques. It simply won't work on anyone else.” Hux sniffs indignantly. The specifications had aligned perfectly with his right hemisphere control and the left remained unfinished. After the incident he couldn't bring himself to finish something that could never be. Organa sighs.

“Then oversee the program, offer advice, instruct. We need you, the _planet_ needs you.” Hux wants to groan audibly. Poe has remained uncharacteristically quiet the entire time, keeping a watchful eye on the beach until he finally speaks.

“Come on Armie, your species needs you no matter how robot-like you've forced yourself to become,” Something stirs in Hux’s gut then- though he knows it isn't a jab at his twin, he can't help but feel protective. He hadn't seen Techie since Brendol’s death and perhaps this was a good a time as any, especially with the end of the world looming closer. He feigns contemplation of his decision for far longer after he's already made it and turns to them.

“I'll come, but if I feel I have nothing further to bestow upon the program I will leave. Deal?” Hux offers his hand, waiting for Organa’s acknowledgement. After a few moments of some deliberation of her own, she takes his hand.

“Deal. We'll have you on the first flight out.”

 

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a momentous defeat had rendered Armitage Hux's passion for the Jaeger Program useless, he's called back to action by a former general who informs him that the end of the world is surely on the horizon. He resolves to keep his distance and only aid in overseeing training and construction. That is, until he spars with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Once he gets to his destination he peers up at the feat he’d thought he could accomplish all those years ago when he’d quit because he felt there was no point. He was really holding it off till now, till Ren._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _He doesn’t sleep tonight. Tonight, he designs his new Jaeger’s schematics to accommodate the man with the dark hair and the impossibly deep eyes._

“Armie!” Hux braces himself for the launching hug that he receives from his twin. Though they’d been born on the same day, Techie had come a few minutes later and always took the role of younger brother to heart even though he technically wasn’t.

“Hey Techie,” Hux murmurs endearingly into his brother's longer red hair. It used to be cut closely to Hux’s length: slicked back everstill per regulation and never longer than the bottoms of his eyes.

“Did you come to wish me happy birthday?” There’s a humorous glint in his eye that the bionics ceased to eliminate. He already knows why Hux is here.

“Well in part,” Hux shoulders his bags from the am track’s transport car, following Techie past the various tanks and heavy artillery towards the massive shatterdome that casts a shadow across the Berkeley hills. Organa is there at the entrance to meet them with a small assistant that couldn’t be more than twelve or so, her brown hair tucked into three ornate buns that crest over the back of her head. She smiles as she greets him, shifting her pen and notebook to one hand while holding the other out. Hux shakes it, her grip firmer than he’d expected.

“Armitage, this is Rey, she has a brilliant mind and is aspiring to become a pilot someday. She’s seven years from the entree age for the program so let's hope we have the situation wrapped up by then,” Leia says and Rey frowns at Organa though only for a moment.

“Hello Armitage,” She says sweetly in an accent that reminds him of his birthplace. She must have roots somewhere in England.

“Please, call me Hux.” He says and Techie titters softly at his side, faltering when Hux shoots him a look.

“Someone ought to carry the family name around,” Hux mutters crossly, knowing this is a touchy subject but Techie shrugs it off- as if he really cared for the name himself. There is a strange air of accomplishment, as if no grave circumstances could really touch him here. Yet.

“We’ll put you up in bunker C, that’s the pilot’s area. You’ll share a bunk with Techie. The Jaeger pilots section is the least filled, as you can imagine,” Leia says, nodding. “Techie is actually our leading LOCCENT technician. He oversees all of the missions, classifying the Kaiju, handling communications. I don’t know what we’d do without him and Matt for that matter.” Hux looks at Techie curiously and Leia gestures vaguely as if she’d read the question from his face. “He’s a nephew of mine. He and Techie designed the improved comms system that can withstand nearly any bombardment including electro magnetic pulse detonation,” Hux lifts his eyebrows in understanding as Techie flushes. There was something amiss which Hux would soon discover with a fair amount of grilling.

“Clever, you’ll have to fill me in on the details.” Techie nods as they stand before their bunk.

“Contact me if you need anything, I’ve started you on the 8:30 am training schedule for tomorrow morning. With luck we shouldn’t see another Kaiju attack for about two more weeks. You’ll do a lot to boost morale, Armitage.” Organa says before departing with Rey. She’d handed him his very own key before she’d gone and within the hour his things are unpacked. Ever since the first Kaiju attack he’d learned to pack light for he was always on the move to some new city building the war machine.

After a few hours consulting his training manuals and listening to Techie toss and turn in his sleep, he gets up to fetch a drink from the water fountain outside. The day had not progressed as badly as he’d presumed it would. At least he was here with his brother, that’s all that truly mattered. If he was going to die, better it be here than working on the blueprints for some towering skyscraper. He isn’t sure but a strange prickling sensation blossoms on the skin of the back of his neck and Hux shivers, swearing that he could sense someone’s eyes on him. He turns slightly, seeing nothing but doors and doors of bunks. Hux frowns and goes into his room, retrieving his toiletries and marching to the men's showers. They were modest, white tile with blue trim and closed off stalls for privacy.

Hux isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do while he’s here. He knows he’ll do fine being training instructor, Rae had taught him nearly everything there was to know about the art when he was still a boy. She used to be the head instructor for the Jaeger program but last he’d heard she was off doing humanitarian aid in the countries hit hardest by the Kaiju attacks. He mostly would get his information from Techie and often enough it felt like his only connection to reality. What a concept: the brother who he’d felt responsible for letting get injured in the Manila incident was the one thing that made him abandon the program and shaped his life into the surreal, but was his only connection to the world everyone else was living in. He shakes his head and shuts off the water, standing there for a minute to gather his jumbled thought train before slipping out with a towel around his waist.

The way back to his bunk is not but twenty feet but feels like an eternity under that same being-watched feeling. Hux glares into every shadowy corner, daring whatever it is to show itself. He makes it all the way to the door when he swears he hears something and turns, water dripping off his face and chest. Across the corridor, the door slot is open and he does in fact see eyes. He jumps and the brown ones flash with recognition that they’ve been noticed before the slot closes softly. Hux shakes it off and walks into the room, annoyed by the fear he’d felt. Someone was just looking out the door, it was nothing. It was still strange though…

In the morning he dresses in the training uniform- black tank and long black pants, the Pan Pacific Defense Corps insignia sewn into the material. He laces up his boots and shaves in the mirror above the sink in their room. Techie has already gone for the day, tending to repairs around the base apparently. Once Hux is finished he buttons up a uniform shirt and slides an overcoat across his shoulders before making his way to the training area. The stares of appraisal and interest are good news: he’d like to put off an air of authority with this coat and it seems fitting enough.

Once he’s at the arena he gets to know everyone’s names before he launches into procedure and combat technique. The day is majorly uneventful, a few of the students promising a bright future as Jaeger pilots but all of them lack the ability to spar with a partner in the way a drift would be conducted. At lunch he eats alone, noticing a few tables occupied by the pilots. He recognizes Poe before he even sees him, who is of course the loudest. Jessika is there looking tired, along with a young man who couldn’t be more than a teenager with dark short hair and sad looking eyes, attentive to every detail in the room. There are two pilots who he believes faintly pilot the _Echo Broadway_ giving him fuming stares that he isn’t shocked but is otherwise curious about. There’s a tall woman with sheared off platinum hair, strong arms resting on the table as she laughs loudly at some asinine joke Dameron made. Hux sighs, content that he is eating by himself and not with the loud table of brutes.

“Hello again, Hux.” He looks up from his rather tasteless stew to see Rey beginning to sitting across him at the table. She too is alone.

“Hello, Rey,” He makes no attempt at further conversation. Most people would irritate him but she has a certain calming aura about her that doesn’t demand attention or excessive talking.

“This used to be my table,” She smiles genuinely and Hux feels the urge to leave. “No, no it’s fine, I enjoy a little like minded company from time to time.” Hux nods in agreement, the faintest hint of a smile pulling at one of the corners of his mouth. He eats his lunch in peace, finishing it quickly before one of the Jaeger pilots come over to their table.

“Are you the Armitage Hux that built Jaegers at 15?” It’s the noisy blonde, her muscled arms crossed over her chest. Her dog tag reads nothing but “Phasma” and Hux recognizes her from the battles in Hawaii and Anchorage. She and her co-pilot Mitaka man the _Finalizer Equal_ which he’d built into a Mark 4. As he can recall they’ve racked up eight kills so far.

“The very same,” He says, flipping boredly through the news section on his tablet. Phasma grunts and sits next to him, Mitaka still sitting at the table and looking very lost by himself.

“Hey Rey,” She manages a wave before turning back to him. She has an English accent as well though it’s more clipped in places as if she’d been living stateside for many years. “Why are you suddenly back? Techie’s happy to have you, we’d all be happier if you were piloting.” She says. He ignores it and shrugs, swirling the few remnants of peas on his tray. “Why don’t you join again? There are plenty of applicants.”

“I believe that is my business and not yours,” He says curtly, standing and dumping his tray before taking a stroll through the base. He doesn’t have much time to do so before he’s back at the training center. The day slides past slowly, dull and the same as before he’d gone to lunch. He makes futile attempts to get them to understand what he’s talking about, glad to see Organa visiting close to the end of it all.

“Have you found any worthy pilots?” She remarks and Hux sighs, watching two cadets spar and trip each other. “That bad huh?” She chuckles and Hux sniffs. Suddenly he notices a cadet towards the back, tall and gangly with long arms and legs. Hux wasn’t shorter than him by much though the man is more angular and very lean. He gathers his shoulder length black hair and ties it up before picking his staff up and staring right at Hux. He shivers when he realizes those were the eyes that were watching him from behind the door across the hall.

“Who’s _that_?” Hux asks Organa, nodding to the man. His arms and thighs are thick, waist trim and chest and shoulders hulking and massive. Hux drags his eyes away to watch the cadets on the sparring mat collapse. Organa sighs.

“That’s my son, surely you remember Ben?” She asks. There’s a certain wistfulness in her eyes that approaches on mourning. Hux resolves not to ask.

“I don’t recall you ever having a son,” Hux asks, looking at Ben again. Ben is leaning on his staff, peering in disapproval at the two women who are smacking theirs like amateurs.

“Yes, well. He was away for a long time as a child, in military school by his own volition. He came back only two years ago,” She says, nodding slightly and Hux purses his lips. He remembers talk of Ben only slightly. He’d taken his father’s last name and left home as soon as he was able but the rest is hazy. He’s next against someone much younger than him. Hux remembers him as Finn from this morning. He’s a bit clumsy with dark mocha skin and a determination that Hux notes as admirable but extremely on the young side around Rey’s age, meaning he won’t be eligible for the program until he was eighteen. He had a tedious time getting his balance under control this morning but could swing the staff like someone who’s been wielding one for years.

“Begin.” Hux orders, watching the fight as he circles the mat. He's taken his coat and uniform shirt off, watching the two fight with ample amounts of criticism. He sees the moves Ben is making before he makes them, noticing the smallest twitches, Ben’s mannerisms, his swings. Finn is down within five minutes and Ben stands up straighter, Organa smiling tightly and clapping. Finn hauls himself up and Ben fights the rest of the cadets, never speaking once except to let a few grunts out here and there when he makes a particular effort in a swing. He takes them all easily and eventually there is no one else to fight.

“Nicely done,” Hux comments dryly. Ben Solo smirks, just the side of his mouth into a crooked smile that sets Hux on edge.

“I've heard your skills are far more adept than twenty _teenagers_ ,” Ben’s voice is deeper than Hux had imagined. His syllables are soft but resonant and Hux ignores the jab.

“Come on Armitage show him how it's done!” Hux notices his brother has joined Organa on the other side of the room alongside some other man with ridiculous blonde curls and enormous glasses. Poe is there too, joined by Jessika and Phasma, her trembling co-pilot looking as if he'd rather hide in his bunk. How that man has managed to enter a fight with eight Kaiju and win is beyond Hux.

“Nonsense,” Hux speaks, enjoying the way the confidence in Ben’s eyes falters. “I'll succeed.” He removes his boots and socks, grabbing a staff from the rack and twirling it fluidly in his hands, watching Ben keenly as he steps onto the mat. Ben smirks again and removes his training tank, Hux wavering when his eyes fall to Ben’s ivory chest, muscular and able. His hair has been out for a while, a haughty move to display that he hasn't broken a sweat this entire time.

“This isn't meant to be a display of power,” Hux chides as he circles Ben. “You must engage my moves with equal reaction. Parry, thrust, in sync. That is how the neural handshake is achieved. If you believe yourself to be better or worse, you let the drift slip through your fingers. You must become one with it, lose yourself in it. That is how you make the connection.” Ben keeps his eyes on Hux’s completely, moving around him like he could read Hux’s every move as if they were already in the drift. “But I do not believe you to have a firm grasp on the concept to be worthy enough to be drift compatible with me,” He’s using this as bait, more theatrical at heart. He doesn’t wish to become a pilot ever again. Ben calmly feints left from a swing and meets Hux’s next arc with a perfect match.

“Are you sure you still believe that?” He teases under his breath and Hux kicks an ankle, Ben losing his balance and stumbling but he rights himself, coming at him with several more swipes. Midway through the sparring session he loses the ability to remain in tune with every minute detail of the world around him and surrenders himself to Ben’s body language. It’s like a dance he’s walking himself through, duplicating Ben’s footfalls gracefully, breaking a sweat due to the intensity of the match. He hadn’t had an experience like this since he practiced combat training with Techie all those years ago. Ben was even more fluid, as if he were a mold of clay in Hux’s hands, easily worked into whatever shape his mind offered as he was the same for Ben. He doesn’t count how many minutes it’s been but the training area has cleared out aside from the Jaeger pilots and Organa, Finn joining Rey off to the side.

“I think we’ve seen enough,” Organa calls and it takes Hux a moment to remember where he is, stepping away from Ben and he mimics Hux’s action flawlessly.

“You two are obviously a perfect match,” Techie comments and Hux shoots him a glare that could melt steel.

“I agree, Hux you two have been sparring for a half hour.” Organa says and Hux furrows his brow in disbelief, glancing up at the clock and feeling a jolt of thrilling shock move down his spine. He wasn’t keeping track and clearly Ben wasn’t either from his equally stunned expression. Hux shakes his head.

“No, I-I’m not going to be a pilot,” He sounds small and feeble even to his own ears as if he’s defending himself. Ben looks at him, violent passion clashing with the chocolate brown of his eyes.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ben growls, grabbing the attention of the room and throwing all of it on himself. “Did you not feel the strength of our connection? You’re going to throw all of that away because what, you’re _scared_?” Hux can’t find the words to respond, gaping at Ben like an idiot. When he does, a flush burns his ears and cheeks as he snarls at Ben.

“What do you know of fear?” He’s in Ben’s irritatingly disproportionate face now, barking the words out furiously. “You’ve never seen a battle, so once you have _then_ and only _then_ will you have the grounds to make such senselessly _stupid_ accusations!” He throws the staff onto the mat and storms out of the training center, walking towards the locker room adjacent to the showers. Once he’s there he grips the porcelain sink, wanting to crush it under his grip. He splashes water onto his face, letting his racing mind catch up with him.

Yes, from an outsider's view they were extremely compatible. They each would not yield in the slightest and it was their best trait. But no… Hux promised himself when he was standing over Techie’s hospital bed, eyes covered in bandages and legs gone that he wouldn’t do this again. He’d felt each injury as if it were happening to him, the tearing and ripping, the blood running down his cheeks. Hux becomes so lost to memory that he doesn’t see Ben standing off to the side watching him closely. He isn’t sure how long he’s been watching.

“What do you want,” He doesn’t phrase it like a question, his voice humiliatingly shaky. Ben walks forward a few steps before stopping in his tracks to examine Hux like he’s an experiment he doesn’t quite understand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to uh… to embarrass you in front of everyone.” Hux has to drown the rising anger in his chest. _Ben didn’t mean that as an insult, he is trying to get through to you. Stop being so confrontational today._ He lectures himself.

“It’s quite alright,” He stands, righting his posture before turning to Ben, letting the air of superiority he carries around with him at all times act like a shield. “I overreacted as well,” Ben’s eyes light up.

“So does that mean…?” Ben stands there staring at him and this time drowning doesn’t help.

“No!” He roars but Ben doesn’t back down. Ben rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. Hux didn’t notice before with all of his concentration focused on Ben’s fighting that there was a tattoo on his right hip, just below the fabric of his pants. He can't see it now and he flushes when he realizes he wants to. “I stated clearly, to anyone with a brain, that I am _not_ becoming a pilot again!”

“You’re awfully contradicting, Armitage.” Ben grins like he’s caught Hux admitting a humiliating truth.

“Oh, really Ben?” For some reason Ben stiffens, eyes narrowing to outraged slits.

“That’s not my name.” Hux rolls his eyes this time.

“Oh really, then what is it? Your mother would really lie about your name?” Not-Ben growls.

“I changed it three years ago when I turned eighteen. It’s Ren now.” Hux isn’t sure why but this makes him laugh hysterically. Hux grips his knees to keep from falling to the floor from the force of it and doesn’t expect it when Ren slams his hand over Hux’s chest and presses him to the wall not so gently.

“How dare you, you spoiled brat-” Ren’s mouth- those disrespectfully large lips- smash into his with enough force to knock his senses from him for a moment, shocked into speechlessness. He stands against the wall, the flush spreading to his chest as Ren’s hands grip his waist but falter downwards, stopping just shy of his ass. As soon as Hux regains a thought process he doesn’t pull away as he expected he’d do. Everything swirls into a mess of incoherent thoughts and he instead pushes his fingers into Ren’s dark hair. It’s surprisingly soft… Hux catches himself sliding his tongue out to dart across Ren’s bottom lip and once he does this Ren moans low and soft, stirring a heated sensation down in Hux’s stomach. Everything feels too real, as if they're back on the mat, the rest of the world closed off to them. Hux can hear Ren’s heart beating, the steady drum of it through Hux’s palms. Ren’s skin smells good, familiar and warm and his lips too... Hux pulls away before he can kiss him fully, surprised by what he’d done, or allowed himself to do. He hadn’t kissed another boy since he was eighteen… which had happened to be his only kiss. Ren looks at him softly, his eyes showing how hurt he was but Hux clamps his mouth shut and slips out of Ren’s grip.

“I… I need to go.” Hux mutters, his voice quavering as he turns back to look at Ren. His eyes are on the floor, lip tugged between his teeth. Hux feels the overwhelming need to comfort him. He takes a step back, another, and then four long strides as he escapes the locker room, his head hanging down as he ducks into his bunk. Techie has left a note along with items Hux left on the training center’s floor.

 _Will be back in the morning, am going out to eat with Matt._ Hux chuckles softly, covering his mouth with his hand as he turns to the sink, sighing. So that was it. Hux smiles, but soon his smile falters and he slumps into his bunk.

How to begin even addressing what had just transpired… Hux doesn't think he can. Everything happened so quickly… the perfection of his battle with Ren- why on earth would he change the first letter?- the slip up of his logical mind as he'd lost his composure in front of other people as well as the mother of the man he was yelling at… that kiss. How appalling… yet… it wasn't.

Hux kissed one other person when he was still in the Jaeger Program. He wasn't very memorable, in fact he'd even forgotten the boy’s name. Loathe as he is to admit it that kiss with Ren felt good. He isn't even sure why it happened. He'd been cruel, disregarding and mean to Ren and yet somehow he'd taken to resolving the situation by kissing him? Had Hux missed something crucial in the exchange? No… he is sure of it. Hux is overly analytical, meaning he wouldn't have missed something like the precursor for a kiss. Unless… the close physical contact, the half an hour spent sweating together and staring each other in the eyes with something akin to the vigor of sex, could possibly be considered? Hux rolls his eyes. He'd told Ren to focus only on the battle not the… well surely those were the sensations he was interpreting.

Hux isn't even sure if he finds Ren attractive though then again he's sure he does. The only trait he can remember from that kiss years ago was that the boy had long brown hair. It was simple and certainly not practical to the program they were in but Hux couldn't help liking it. It stood out, and that was the appeal. Ren is far more bewitching in that sense. Up close, he has constellations of freckles like a star chart on his face, his eyes a smoldering pit of bottomless emotion that looking into too deeply might find Hux never crawling out of again. His attitude could use a little adjustment, but there's a certain raw unmined quality, not refined but honest. Hux’s life is too dull, devoid of motivation. Training cadets for the program gave only so much purpose and then again he’d hated not doing something, especially in the field where saving the earth may be possible. He dozes off for a while, not realizing how tasking the sparring session was.

He dreams he’s in a closed off cell, open and inviting but meeting him with invisible walls whenever he tries to step out of it. He has to watch his mother die in the first attack with no ability to do anything about it. He wakes up from the nightmare, not crying but his eyes are wet and he sits up, pushing his hands through his hair and trying his best not to let the dream get to him too directly. Yet he can’t help feeling as if he’s in the aftermath of his first Jaeger battle, desperately scrambling to understand just why he’s not contributing to save more children from the same fate he’d been dealt. He stands and clears his throat, leaving his bunk to bottle some water in the fountain outside. He doesn’t feel the usual gaze upon him and he turns to stare at the door Ren is behind. Hux walks over to it, noting that the time is well past midnight and knocks. He waits for what seems like hours before trying again. There’s nothing but dead silence behind the door and Hux turns away, frowning. The cold shoulder is his fault, so he heaves a few deep breaths and turns, walking down a corridor that seems more like a dream, one he hasn’t had in roughly ten years. Once he gets to his destination he peers up at the feat he’d thought he could accomplish all those years ago when he’d quit because he felt there was no point. He was really holding it off till now, till Ren.

He doesn’t sleep tonight. Tonight, he designs his new Jaeger’s schematics to accommodate the man with the dark hair and the impossibly deep eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Hux rises out of unconsciousness slowly, drowsily blinking against the noon sun coming in through the high windows at the top of the shatterdome. He looks up at the person from which the voice came out of, not willing himself to believe it at first. She is shrouded in sunlight like a visible aura around her and Hux smiles softly.

“Rae,” He murmurs softly and she puts a gloved hand on his shoulder.

“Were you really working so hard you fell asleep at your bench?” Her soft accent really is the fuel he needs to complete this project in time before the next Kaiju attack.

“Well… yes. I think I’ve found a compatible pilot. For me, because of Techie… anyways.” He stands, taking a long drink from his almost empty water bottle.

“That’s who sent me out to look for you, and General Organa, and half the base. They’d thought you’d vanished after apparently you had some kind of slip up emotionally yesterday?” Her condescending tone reminds him of his younger years and he shrugs sheepishly. “Don’t you shrug, that’s adolescent which you most certainly are not anymore. Come, lets eat some of that prison food they serve here.” He follows her to the lunch room, trying his best to slick his hair back and keep it orderly but some of his fringe still hangs across his forehead no matter how madly he pushes it back. He must have slept through his training instruction and finds that he mostly doesn’t care. Except he does when he thinks of who might have instructed it not teaching them well enough.

It’s the beginning of the lunch hour and Hux sighs heavily when he realizes how many eyes are on him. He hadn’t the time to properly shower either or get ready to look even remotely put together in any sense of the words as he grabs his tray, glancing around to notice Rey is not sitting alone today. Sloane nods to him and take her tray away, telling him she’s going to let Organa know that Hux hasn’t left the base in a fit of childish rage. So he’s left alone to confront Ren at the table where he’d be sitting just across from him. Splendid.

“Afternoon Rey,” He nods to her and she smiles over the small book she’s reading with her lunch. Ren ignores his presence completely. “Afternoon,” He murmurs anyway, deciding not to partake in the fit of silent treatment Ren is no doubt dolling out after being left like a reject in the locker room. Rey looks uneasily over at them, both staring at their untouched food and she makes quite a show of noticing Finn across the room as she stands and shouts his name joyously.

“I umm… I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to leave so abruptly-”

“Save it,” Ren mutters, holding his hand up to precipitously cut Hux off. Hux scowls.

“I will speak, thank you. I’m your superior officer, and you will listen to what I say.” Something about Ren never ceases to anger him almost immediately. He isn’t sure why. “I am sorry that I left you alone,” He explains, hating that he has to speak of any emotions whatsoever. He knows that’s what Ren needs to hear, regardless. “I… I’ve only ever…” He bites his cheek, his face flushing and finally Ren looks up at him. Wonderful. “I’ve only ever been kissed once. Alright? I was nervous, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I’ve not been close to anyone in years, I didn’t know what to do.” Hux sighs, staring down at his tray, his reflection in his soup rippling with his long breaths. He doesn’t hear anything from Ren, almost believing he’d gotten up without a sound and left him there to wallow in his foolish confession. He feels fingers on his chin and he looks up, the brazen grin on Ren’s face again.

“Well, you were my first kiss so,” Hux huffs incredulously, his face still burning.

“That makes sense, you were clumsy enough.” Ren frowns and shrugs, leaning over his tray and the table, making enough noise to wake the dead as he kisses Hux on the mouth, softly smiling against his lips as Hux jerks, growling at Ren though he doesn’t fight it. He knows what Ren’s doing: making Hux apologize. If he pulls away now Ren will have another tantrum Hux is sure of it. He doesn’t open his mouth this time but still, it’s passionate. There’s more emotion in that surface contact than anything Ren could do at the moment. Regardless, it feels like everyone in the room is watching. Hux stares at Ren angrily as he sits back down to eat his soup in content peace, ignoring everyone else as if they were the only two in the room. Hux knows they aren’t, the cessation of conversation eventually picking up again, some in whispers Hux knows are about what just happened. Hux sighs, digging into the soup and bread roll, enjoying the taste so much he’s sure this is the finest delicacy in the world.

 

* * *

 

“So you’ve considered joining the Jaeger Program, finally?” Organa smiles at him as if she knew it would come to this. Surely she hadn’t heard about the kiss yet if she was this elated. Techie is practically bouncing on his heels and Hux wants to snap at him like a protective hen. He shouldn’t be putting so much pressure on the censors on his ankles, it wears them down-

"Hux!” Techie regains his attention and Hux glowers at him.

“Yes, I am.” Hux says, lifting his chin proudly. “I’ve gotten the schematics drawn up to adapt to Ren’s physique, I just need the parts. The rest of the First Order is intact, the internal portion of the conn-pod is all that is left.” Organa nods, typing this into her tablet. “What’s left is a test of the drift, once the conn-pod is complete, we can initiate the neural handshake which shouldn’t be too difficult for me. Has Ren ever been in a drift before?” This makes Organa falter in her typing speed and when she picks back up again it’s slow.

“When he… left us for military school… I wasn’t entirely candid with you. It was one of those private outfits you know?” She looks distraught and Hux regrets bringing it up. “Some gang, the Knights of Ren I’m told. It was headed by this mystery, or monster of a man named Snoke. He runs a black market for Kaiju Blue as well as organs and bone, the parts that are fatal or harmful to be around in Hong Kong. Ben… or Ren left us, angry with his father. Han wouldn’t let him join the Jaeger program. After what happened to my brother’s co-pilot, he didn’t want Ben around that. So he left the night before his eighteenth birthday, of course we didn’t know where he went till a year and a half later when he sent us a vague letter. Han died two years ago in…” Organa swallows heavily. “He was in Hong Kong, looking for Ben when one of the Category III Kaijus came out of the Breach and destroyed half the city. We didn’t have a Jaeger present, it was defending Taipei. This was when the Kaiju attacks began to increase… Ben came back afterwards, feeling responsible for his father’s death. The thing is, that band of filth doesn’t take too kindly to deserters, so Ben is here with me and he’s joined the Jaeger program, to kill the things that killed Han though revenge is not something I’d suggest. I understand you’ve been through similar a situation. He had been tested on, put through drifts with the monsters brains and he eventually told me what he saw, which wasn’t good...” Organa smiles though it doesn’t reach her eyes when she pats Hux’s shoulder. Hux knows what she’s referring to, the Anteverse, the Precursors, all of it. “I’ll put in an order and get these parts here by tonight if possible, Armitage.” She leaves him then, Techie coming back over from the station he was working at during the conversation.

“You look shaken, are you alright?” He asks and Hux nods ambiguously.

“Yes, I'm fine,” Hux walks over to the station Techie was working at. The man Hux knows must be Matt is typing some codes in at the chair. For a moment he's struck, realizing how alike this man looks to Ren. Some things are off, of course the hair color, the eye color even slightly different.

“I don't believe you've met Matt,” Techie smiles fondly. Matt looks up and nods awkwardly, offering his hand. “This is my brother, Armitage, though he'd prefer if you not call him that,” Techie chuckles when Hux sighs. “Anyways, Armie, this is my… well I do believe he is my boyfriend.” Hux smiles, knowing this information. Matt flushes and stands beside his brother. He nods.

“It's nice to meet your acquaintance,” Hux declares. As soon as this is out the consoles beep frantically, alarms going off throughout the base.

“Movement in the Breach, single event. One signature, dilation indicator, Category IV.” The AI computer system sounds and everyone springs to action.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no this is too soon,” Matt exclaims, his voice slightly different than Ren’s but exceedingly similar. He rushes out of the control room after pecking Techie’s cheek and he proceeds to the ops central console. Hux rushes over as Sloane and Organa meet in the room. It's strange seeing them together, apparently they'd been rivals for years before the Breach opened.

“Status,” Rae orders as Techie pulls up the classifications for the Kaiju that's just left the Breach onto a mobile data pad. Personnel gathers including all of the pilots and technicians critical for the command center.

“Category IV, codenamed _Stormrise_. The creature is headed for here and will reach the city within the hour, General.” Hux hates that he can't do anything but stand here intently listening to the information he's being given to do nothing with. Ren enters the room in a flourish, his clothes wet. It must be raining outside because he's wearing a large black cape type shawl, pulling the hood down to stand beside Hux in the crowded LOCCENT control room.

“Dispatch _X Machina_ and _Finalizer Equal_ to meet the creature at the front lines before it breaks from the water.” Organa commands and the four pilots nod.

“And what of the other three Jaegers?” Sloane asks, glancing at the three bays that house the last of the five Jaegers still in service.

“ _Echo Broadway_ and _Firebrand Imperial_ will stay behind in the shatterdome. Dispatch _Jedha Four_ to stand guard at the Miracle Mile. I don't want to put our other two Jaegers at a loss of confidence but I want this city well guarded.” Organa nods to two pilots standing by the entrance. “Andor, Erso report to _Jedha Four_ ,” Organa nods to a man and a woman who look to be relatively in their forties, around Organa’s age. “Phasma and Mitaka, Dameron and Pava, get to your conn-pods. Evacuate the coastline and shut down bridges and harbors.” Everyone disperses and Ren and Hux stay behind to watch as the techs begin prep to disengage. Organa watches intently, minutes going by before the conn-pods seal into their respective Jaegers.

“Well, now you'll get your first lesson in battling a Kaiju,” Sloane slaps Ren on the shoulder as she walks to the back of the room to observe the monitors. Hux winces for him and Ren stands at the window allowing access to the process of the Jaegers being prepared for transport. Hux follows, standing at his side to watch as well.

“Your mother told me some things…” Hux murmurs, keeping his voice low. Ren doesn't respond but glances at Hux.

“About the Knights?” Ren’s voice is muted and silent, so quiet Hux almost can't hear. He nods. “I left, I came back. Now I'm here,” His voice is sharp, indicating that was the extent of his explanation. Hux leaves it and watches the Jaegers being lifted from the hangar by helicopters. After they’ve engaged the Kaiju, the attack is brief.

Hux remembers the last battle that went this smoothly. He was defending Papua New Guinea along with the oldest Jaeger still in commission- the _Firebrand Imperial_ , a Mark 1 and the only one still running on a nuclear reactor. As Hux can recall, Organa’s brother Luke Skywalker piloted the thing alongside a man named Biggs Darklighter. The incident that killed Biggs happened two months after their defense of New Guinea which Hux understood took a big toll on Skywalker because they’d been childhood friends. Luke found another drift compatible pilot by the name of Wedge Antilles, and he remembers his father snickering when he’d heard they were also lovers. Not because Brendol was a hard ass about that sort of thing, which Hux was shocked that he wasn’t when Techie declared he had a boyfriend at the age of sixteen to which Brendol shrugged and remarked “Good, I don’t have to worry about grandchildren,” after he’d looked pointedly at Hux. Apparently romantic relationships were heavily discouraged among pilots because of the intensity of the connection and the liability that came with losing a partner that you were in the drift with. Nevertheless their relationship carried on and they were still in the running, in their early forties now.

“What are you thinking about?” Ren murmurs after the control room has gone up in cheers when the dead Kaiju sinks into the waves. Hux considers his answer.

“About being able to get out there again,” It’s not entirely false. He does want to be back out there and all the ruminating about Skywalker and Antilles has captured his interest. Ren smirks as Techie walks up behind them to pat their backs.

“That was a very successful mission!” He exclaims and Hux tries to muster the same level of excitement, to no avail. “Come on, don’t be as sultry as the old man eh? You’re not that much of a bastard.” Hux punches his brother in the shoulder as Techie darts away to commune with Sloane. Ren looks thoughtful and Hux stares at him until he responds.

“I almost wish I had a brother,” Ren laughs and Hux chuckles. “So Matt isn’t your twin or something?” Ren makes a mock surprised face and laughs.

“He’s my uncle's aunt’s daughter's son, or so I’m told, ha. He’s younger than me anyways, eighteen. I’m twenty-one,” Ren says arrogantly and Hux scoffs.

“That’s _remarkably_ impressive, Ren.” Hux laughs when Ren does.

“No, but Rey verges on little brother status from time to time,” Hux looks at him, expecting him to be kidding. “We adopted her, she was in the streets in Seattle six years ago, she’d lost her parents in an attack…” Ren murmurs. Hux presses his lips together, feeling sorry for the girl. He’d truly come to like her, she was sweet and exuded an air of childlike wonder that had an ataractic effect on him.

“While the celebrations begin, I need to have a private counsel with you two and some of our top K-scientists.” Organa says and Ren glances at Hux questionably. They follow shortly, entering a side chamber that seemed to serve as some kind of conference room. There are windows along the walls and two women sit at chairs near the head of the table where Organa lowers herself tentatively.

“This is Doctor Lillian Unamo and Doctor Korr Sella.” Hux shakes their hands and Ren follows suit before they sit on the opposite side. Doctor Unamo has skin as white as snow and dark hair that’s pulled into a tight bun, her etched cheekbones and square authoritarian jaw strong and prominent. Doctor Sella has darker skin the color of caf and glittering eyes like jewels staring at Hux with soft assertion.

“Hello Ben, it’s been awhile.” Doctor Sella says pleasantly and Hux notices the twitch in his hands but Ren makes no move to correct her. He just returns her smile and waits for Leia to give more information.

“Now, Ren I know the things you’ve seen while drifting with a Kaiju, and I’ve brought the both of you here to discuss these details. We’ve had a few volunteers recently look into the drift with a Kaiju brain and they’ve received more in depth information that we needed for a long time. Ren, you were able to provide images which was a major help to us to understand the Kaiju are cloned, but the scientists here have gained information from the creatures in almost thoughts that they’ve been able to translate into some kind of understanding to us in our own language.” Organa nods to them and Unamo begins.

“They're from an alternate dimension called the Anteverse,” She explains, pulling out a datapad that projects images into the air like a holo. Ren jerks in his chair when he sees it and Hux finds Ren’s hand on his thigh. He grips it tightly as the four of them give him a sympathetic look. “From what we've gleaned off a Kaijus secondary brain from one of the more recent attacks in Tokyo, it's a world comprised of liquids that keep the native alien race alive. Much like a planetoid covered completely in an ocean, as it were.” She pulls another image up of an insect like creature with a flat head and haunting eyes. Hux fears this is too much for Ren who steels himself, his jaw clenched and eyes filled with unflinching hatred. “They have the sole purpose of colonizing our world and will do so after the Kaiju attacks become more frequent, eventually causing a double event. This will begin the process of systematic destruction verging on the apocalyptic and-”

“I told you we weren't using that word,” Sella interrupts and Unamo gives her a cutting look.

“This will be their way of wiping us out. They've no need to terraform our planet anymore. A kind of poetic justice here is we've brought this on ourselves, pollution, contamination. The Kaiju Blue alone is nearly a warning in and of itself. We've made it habitable for these aliens and if we don't act on the Breach soon we'll be facing more numbers than we could possibly handle. No amount of Jaegers could possibly hold out against more than four Kaiju exiting the Breach at once- every minute.” Sella nods thoughtfully before entering a new command while bringing the Breach up on the hollo.

“Because it is a type of portal, the Breach acts like a channel. To accommodate more mass, it must stretch to allow passage. Observe,” A simu-Kaiju swims upwards, the middle of the portal expanding as the monster moves through it and out into the ocean onto their plane. “We've lost many probes to the portal and after those last few drifts it's been enough to start bringing the puzzle pieces together. We must detonate a charge large enough to create a ripple effect that will destroy each end of the Breach as it constricts and expands around Kaiju traffic. This is an incredibly difficult mission, and Hux-” Sella gestures to him. “-it's my understanding that your Jaeger which you intend to pilot with Ben is the only Mark 7 awaiting completion. It'll be running on new fusion, powered from the nuclear reactions found in stars with a foolproof containment method. Am I correct?”

Hux nods. “It harnesses power from a miniature sun, almost.” He explains. “The heart of the machine contains a single stone of an alloy found in an asteroid. Very hard to get your hands on but at the height of the program, my father found it easily enough, allowing me to convert it into a power source. It's possibilities are boundless, but it's resources are infinite. It'll never run out of power.”

“I believe I know the material you're referring to,” Unamo says and Sella nods. “That's quite impressive that you've been able to harness it, I'm told it's heavily unstable.”

“In the wrong environs,” Hux shrugs.

“We would like to know if you can create a weapon from the same material.” Hux looks at them, taken aback for a moment.

“Well… I suppose I could if we have more around. I've used all the material I have for the _First Order_ , but if I had more certainly. Causing an unstable reaction is actually fairly easy. It's just directing the blast that's the key. I'm sorry if this sounds impolite, but aside from this information which I'll say is enlightening, why are we here?” Ren nods a bit, looking distraught.

“You're here because you're the Jaeger we want to destroy the Breach.” Organa says and Ren and Hux exchange a glance.

“Due to the power source your Jaeger possess, we know it's incorruptible to outside interference. Electricity can be powered off, nuclear energy, which we've come to learn, consumed by these monsters even as a food source. But this new compound cannot be stopped unless it is torn from the Jaeger itself. That, I believe, is near impossible with the capabilities of your new model. I'm told it is twenty times as fast and equipped with twin plasma casters that emit more damage, a GD7 chain sword, and twin rockets?” Hux can't help feeling a little prideful.

“Yes, that's correct. She's much faster than anything currently fighting yes,” The doctors nod.

“Then I look forward to this. The rate of movement in the Breach is increasing, as today they've appeared five ahead of schedule. I believe the double event will happen within the upcoming weeks, we must prepare.” Sella declares and they all stand when she does. “You'll have the materials mandatory to add Ren’s anatomical requirements delivered tonight.” He shakes their hands again and they leave, bickering near the exit about something to do with storage of a Kaiju liver. Organa smiles at Hux and Ren but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

“I'm proud of you,” She murmurs to Ren and Hux averts his eyes feeling as if he's intruding on a moment. “And you too, Armitage. I'm pleased you'll be doing this. It's not an easy feat, and we only have so little time… we have no other objective.” She leaves after this, an ominous feeling hanging in her wake. Hux turns to Ren to say something but Ren slips past, probably getting the sense of what he was about to mention. He didn't know Ren well and was already feeling more connected to him than he sincerely wanted to. They hadn't even drifted yet, but he'd kissed this stranger twice and fuck if he wanted to know things about him. Something about Ren was seductive, but closed off simultaneously and Hux rolls his eyes at himself, pining for the dark haired man with a nice chest like he was bloody sixteen again. Ridiculous, impractical. It'll certainly be his doom.

They meet the Jaeger pilots in the small mess hall close to the pilots bunks. There’s drinks, brandy and whiskey and Hux shamelessly joins in on the festivities. He pours himself a large glass and Phasma smirks at him ruthlessly.

“Aye, that’s the spirit. Glad to hear you’ll be joining us on the battlefield.” Hux smiles gratefully as he joins the lot of them, not minding the loud conversation. He does quite miss Rey’s company though, but she isn’t allowed at this get together.

“The thing was massive! It tried to dodge around _Jedha Four_ and break past our defense but _X Machina_ saved our ass this time!” This is probably the most lively he’s ever seen Mitaka. His typically shy skittish behaviour has been obscured by the liquor.

“When _haven’t_ we?” Poe roars and they all erupt into laughter. Ren’s glass is already empty and he’s refilling it with more whiskey.

“Have you ever drank before?” Hux murmurs, still calmly sipping from his brandy. He hasn’t had a taste in two and a half years, since Brendol died.

“Of course,” Ren mutters, tipping it back again and emptying it into his stomach.

“Hey slow down,” Hux whispers, hating the softness in his tone when Ren glares at him. Hux finishes his brandy and listens to the celebrations for a while before informing everyone he needs to get some rest before starting work on the Jaeger in the morning. They of course all cheer and Ren sits at the table staring at the empty bottle before him.

Once he’s back in his bunk he showers and returns to his room to change, brushing his teeth in the mirror. It’s not as unnerving to look into his own eyes anymore, the reflection no longer taunting. He feels strangely at home here, in spite of this being the final resting place of his mother.

He sits at the small table bolted into the wall and sketches a few new parts he can add to the Jaeger. He needs to devise a blueprint for the weapon design- something that makes him more upbeat. He'd loved drawing up schematics as a child, the long process, the hours spent dedicating to that single project to make a machine run. It was cathartic and it was still only eight pm, plenty of time before he's required to sleep. A half hour passes before there's a knock on his door and he rises to open it, confronted with Mitaka.

“Oops sorry, wrong room,” He nearly falls off the step and Hux grimaces, watching him stumble away. As soon as Hux sits again there's another knock.

“Mitaka, two more down!” He calls. The knocking continues. Hux rises, sighing and opening to door only to fall flat on his ass with the force of Ren’s embrace.

“What are you-?!” Ren presses him to the ground, his body hovering over Hux as he kicks the door closed with his foot. “Ren,” Hux scolds and he smirks at Hux, leaning in to press a kiss to Hux’s jaw. He’s clearly intoxicated though the strategic placement of his kisses drives Hux slightly insane, not to mention a little hard.

“I’m sorry I let you leave,” He murmurs and Hux frowns, holding the noises he would make painfully in the back of his throat. He’d only ever gotten so far as to being fucked himself, but hastily, once. There was no foreplay, to his recollection. That boy in the showers was simply there when Hux needed him. It was shameless and vulgar and Hux doesn’t want to recall the details. His neck is extremely vulnerable and Hux struggles to maintain some semblance of control.

“We can’t do this… right now…” Hux bites around whimpers, his hard on no doubt pressing to Ren’s leg. If he’s correct, the same thing is pressing to Hux’s stomach and it’s not helping the situation.

“Oh I’m sorry did you want something softer?” The slur is now present and it douses his erection in cold water.

“Ren, you’re drunk.” This seems to shake him for a moment, suddenly looking around at his unfamiliar surroundings. Then he realizes he’s on top of Hux and he smirks. “Alright let’s go- up,” He easily slips away from Ren, offering his hand and pulling him up into his bed. “You’re going to rest here. If Mitaka was any consolation, you're not sober enough to walk back to your bunk even if it is across the corridor.” Ren just smiles the entire time.

“Suddenly _you_ have a moral compass?” Hux rolls his eyes and helps take Ren’s boots off followed by his shirt- strictly for comfort purposes- all the way down to his briefs.

 _My god his body is like art,_ Hux thinks, flushing a deep shade of crimson at the sight of this marble statue of some ancient Greek love god in his bed, quickly getting drowsy while Hux removes his extra layers until he’s also in his underwear. “Why don’t you want me?” Ren yawns, still going for the provocative approach. Hux just smiles, resenting how compromised he already is by this oaf lying here trying to seduce him half a tankard in.

“That’s certainly not the issue, is it?” Hux purrs, pushing Ren’s hair back while tucking the blanket over their bodies. He switches the light off and lies down, aware of Ren’s breathing as it evens out and lulls Hux into a trance like sleep. He dreams he’s on the beach with his father, walking along as tranquilly lulling waves lap at the white sand. He’s trying to tell Brendol something, probably about how he’d found Ren and Brendol just shakes his head.

“I don’t need to hear the details Armitage, I already know. You’re happy, I can see it on your face. That’s all I need to know.” For the first time since Hux was a child, perhaps around four he sees Brendol smile even if it wasn’t real. Once he comprehends this the edges of the dream become frayed and morph into something else.

He’s piloting a Jaeger alongside Ren, the two of them marching through endless waves as serpents slither around the legs of the giant. They glance at each other warily before trudging on just in time to see a giant rock launch itself out of the water. Upon first glance that’s what it is, until it looks like the hulking metal of a ship augmented into something much different than anything they’d seen on their planet. They draw the sword and brace for combat but something goes wrong and he can’t hear Ren, even in the drift. They can’t get out of their armor and are struggling madly to reach each other as the ship charges a beam of light that builds and builds like a crackling supernova.

“Ren!” Hux cries when he suddenly wakes to Ren shaking and seizing in his bed. He pins Ren’s arms down, feeling his eyes getting wet as he tries to wake him as gently as he can. Ren’s jaw is clenched so tight Hux is afraid he’ll crack a tooth and he caresses his hair, feeling a droplet slip past the confines of his eyes and fall onto Ren’s chest.

“Wake up, please wake up…” Hux snivels, trying to hold back the flood that was not abating. He can’t remember feeling so hopeless since Techie was ripped from him. Eventually the tremors subside into mild shivering, Ren’s eyes opening to look at Hux as if he’s on another planet, too far away and yet so close.

“What… happened?” Ren’s voice is rough and weathered as if his vocal chords had been dragged across gravel. Hux shakes his head, sobbing and sitting back against the wall quickly, narrowly missing knocking his head into the bunk above. Techie must have stayed the night with Matt because it was two in the morning and he still hadn’t returned. “Hey, Hux come here,” Ren sits up slowly and puts a hand on Hux’s bare leg, running his calloused thumb over the smooth skin as Hux buries his head in his folded arms.

“You… I was afraid… I didn’t know…” Ren pries his arms apart gently to gaze at Hux with pity.

“I’m sorry you had to see that…” Ren murmurs, pulling Hux into his outstretched arms.

“Don’t apologize,” Hux murmurs, his voice losing the tremulous quality it’d had before his mortifying breakdown. “I just, I didn’t know what to do…” Hux sounds lost.

“Well I came out of it, didn’t I?” Ren rests his chin on Hux’s shoulder, Ren’s chest comfortably fitting against his back. Hux tries to ignore how perfectly aligned they are.

“Don’t make jokes now you dick,” Hux lours, but he’s mostly teasing too. Ren just smiles against his neck and presses his lips there and Hux turns around, looking at Ren really this time. The light from the digital clock on the bed table was enough to show the scars Hux didn’t seem to really notice before, even during their fight. They’re mostly on Ren’s back, stretched over his shoulder and when Ren lays down again Hux looks at them. He presses his fingers gently to them, tracing them and watching Ren shiver.

"What happened…?” Hux asks, his voice hushed in case speaking too loud would scare Ren off from the subject. Hux can already guess, he’d seen similar ones on a boy in a desecrated island somewhere in Indonesia. He’d done something small, like take too much bread and the refugee camp soldiers had whipped him in front of his family. The British Navy had come to give relief and first aid and seeing that had scarred the seventeen year old Hux. Ren turns, hiding his scars from Hux for a moment but his fingers remain on Ren’s side still soothing over the skin softly in little strokes.

“I joined a gang when I was eighteen. It was stupid of me, really and in hindsight I wish I could take it all back. I ended up with the Knights of Ren. They were eager to take me in at first. Me, still mostly a child angry at his father for wanting to protect him. They were kind in the beginning and showed me to their leader. His name was Snoke and I’m quite certain he had participated in many a drift with a Kaiju too often. His hair had all fallen out, his cheeks sunken into these concaves… he had a giant scar across the top of his head. Before the Kaiju war, my grandfather was one of the strongest scientists in neuro technology. He’d first tested something like the drift and he’d been powerful enough to withstand these tests himself, for a time. That was until he snapped and in a fit of rage killed my grandmother. All of this transpired before my birth, of course. His name was Anakin Skywalker,” Hux nods, remembering the name vaguely. It had come up in some long ago conversation his mother was having with his father about past scientists who’d gone crazy. Hux decides not to mention this. “Snoke baited me with this knowledge, telling me that because my grandfather was so powerful I certainly must be too. It stuck with me, and though it was only a few years ago I thought it was so true. Now, I’m not sure it was at least in the sense that Snoke was using it in.

“He got me to drift with the brains of Kaiju he’d smuggled in. Once I’d done my first successful drift- albeit I was a wreck, bloody nose, burst capillaries, the likes- I was initiated. There was the gang itself which included many mercenaries, pawns. There were an elite few who were the Knights themselves and my name derives from that but not because I long to go back. I’d had my name changed to Kylo Ren before. Now, I’m just Ren. It suits me, I think… I’m no longer the child I once was, and I’m no gang member. Now, I’m just me… I’d like to think all three culminate to create the person I am today.” Hux lays beside Ren, burrowing against the warmth of Ren’s abdomen beneath the covers. “Towards the end, before I defected, they were using me too much. I’ve seen images, things I’ve never wanted to see, beating me and torturing me into doing those things and I was promised death if I did not cooperate. I’m told the seizures are a side effect. The one thing I’ve gained from my bloodline seems to be my grandfather’s strength after all. It’s allowed me to live with only that symptom, and thankfully nothing more. The nightmares however are entirely different and I don’t think that’s something I can ever recover from.” Hux doesn’t prod for information about the images in Ren’s head. Instead he presses his lips to Ren’s chest softly. The cloud of drunken fog has seemed to have left Ren’s system and he now kisses Hux sleepily under the blankets. He can’t think of anything to say but it seems that his actions are enough for Ren.

Hux sleeps, but if he dreams he cannot remember them. It’s just a pleasant daze that expels the burdens he’d been saddled with during the previous day, lifting his spirits slightly. He’d never slept this close to someone before and the sensation is breathtaking, so much so that when Ren stirs, smiling when Hux kisses his shoulder he can’t imagine not waking up every morning with this kind of comfort or even how he’d lived without it before. He shakes his head at his early morning sappy thought train, almost loathing it but realizing when Ren kisses him that he doesn’t, entirely.

“Is your moral compass askew now?” Ren murmurs after they’ve been lying like this, their lips swollen from kissing. Ren had gotten up briefly to lock the door and throw some water on his face before settling in beside Hux again, his cock hard against Hux’s hip. It was only seven and Hux didn’t need to start working on the conn-pod for another hour or so.

“Well, I believe it’s still thoroughly intact. I didn’t want to encourage you when you were throwing yourself at me like some twenty dollar hooker,” Ren laughs, really laughs and the sound is so rich that it makes Hux’s chest twinge slightly.

“I see,” Ren beams, kissing Hux again. He reaches around Ren, pressing his body tightly against him and not-so-subtly grinding against Ren’s leg. “And clearly I’m not the only one who was or is acting like a whore,” He chuckles against Hux’s ear, tremors tingling and sinking down to the small of Hux’s back. Ren lets his fingertips graze up Hux’s side, thumbs brushing almost tediously across his nipples and Hux groans slightly. Ren lowers to kiss Hux’s neck, soft gentle noises bubbling up out of his throat and falling from his lips. Ren surges up to kiss them as if he’s pressing the mewling sounds that should embarrass him back in and Hux turns, straddling Ren and flinging the blankets away synchronously.

“Bold,” Ren teases, his thumbs circling over the slight dips in Hux’s pelvis, moving downward along his v-line before making the journey again. Hux rolls his hips forward along Ren’s stiff cock, light headed by the surge of craving he feels when he thinks about what Ren will feel like inside of him. Ren anchors his thumbs in the waistband of Hux’s briefs, already tenting them and Hux bites his lip softly almost abashed about being naked in front of someone again. It’s been years and when he’s no longer covered Ren growls primally, scooting Hux off carefully before standing and kneeling before him. A little thrill of hysteria bursts through Hux and he laughs delicately as Ren kisses Hux’s stomach before nipping at the skin to leave several semi permanent marks in his pale white skin. They stand out, purplish and Ren pushes his own briefs down the floor, kicking them away to stand before Hux, his dick seeming to suck up all the oxygen in the room and draw all attention solely to it as well as Hux’s breath. It was big, far bigger than any Hux had ever allowed himself to fantasize even in porn. He shivers visibly and Ren leans down, kissing his mouth with enough force to knock the desperation for breath back into him. When the wet heads of their dicks inadvertently knock together they hiss in equal harmony, moaning afterward.

“Have you ever done this before?” Hux asks. He's genuinely curious, because Ren is still quite young. Ren seems to contemplate his answer before replying.

“No… not to me, and I've not to someone else. I've uhh… had some oral experience.” When Ren flushes- Hux had never seen this before- it's his turn to smirk brazenly.

“Alright, then I'll tell you what we're going to do,” They're both moving against each other gently for the sake of friction and Ren nods, closes his eyes. Hux nips at his collarbone and Ren’s mouth falls open around a swallowed gasp. “I'll fuck you, and then you do the same for me. Are we clear?” This seems to prompt some kind of chain reaction in Ren and his pupils grow hungry and fat, his eyes burning with scalding intensity.

“Yes sir,” The hush in his voice is like sex itself, and Hux growls, aching for Ren and strikingly so. Fuck he loves being called that.

Ren turns over when Hux indicates for him to do so. His skin is impossibly soft and it smells like pine trees every time Hux runs his fingers over it. His mouth is wet when he kisses Ren’s back and Ren moans into the pillows when Hux’s lips linger above the dimple at the end of his spine. Hux digs under the mattress for something resembling lube which he’d brought from his place in Tokyo. It’d made the trip in his luggage and he pops open the cap, squeezing a bit onto his finger. When he puts the slightest pressure on Ren’s hole he gasps, arching into Hux’s touch.

“Don’t move,” Hux growls, gathering Ren’s hair and brushing it aside, his finger slipping in gently while he defiles Ren’s neck with a barrage of kisses, his hunger for Hux to do something further radiating off his skin like there is an inferno within. “Do you want more?” Hux murmurs in Ren’s ear, nibbling at his earlobe and Ren nods, groaning into the pillows as Hux moves his finger in and out, adding more digits when Ren is ready and worked over and waiting, flushed in deep reds and pinks across the half of his face that isn’t smashed into the bed. Hux is tired of waiting, Ren so tight… slicked and ready and Hux bites his lip roughly, spreading Ren’s thighs apart before moving between them, rubbing his cock against Ren’s hole. Ren’s too incoherent to really absorb what's happening and Hux murmurs soft things into Ren’s ear, telling him he’s going to fuck him nice and slow and deep until he’s physically unable to move for the rest of the day.

When Hux slips inside, his world tilts sideways. He bottoms out inside Ren, low animal like noises coming from his throat as Ren moans, letting Hux cradle his chin and kiss his jaw as he fucks him. His ass is firm in Hux’s hands and his mind returns to their spar in the training center. Every movement was like this, coexisting in the same fragment of time, yet this time connected. His thoughts are a jumble but Hux’s one consistent one is how good Ren feels around him, squeezing every time Hux desires it. It’s almost if they were in the drift already and Hux scatters so many bruises across Ren’s neck that he’s sure no amount of clothing could conceal.

“Hux,” Ren moans, hands clenched around the bedposts as he arches his ass up in the air for him.

“Hmm?” Ren doesn’t respond except to slacken his muscles and Hux realizes this isn’t so much a question but a murmured declaration of gratitude. Hux’s thrusts become more sporadic, angling in to hit that one spot just right and when he does Ren gasps. Hux reaches down to successfully take hold of Ren’s cock and as soon as he does Ren comes into the sheets, teeth clenched and Hux empties himself into Ren, riding out the waves of his orgasm in wordless sighs of ecstasy. He licks along Ren’s neck, sighing slowly as he withdraws, nuzzling at his hair and collapsing beside him.

“Fuck… you’re amazing,” Ren mumbles against the pillow still, his mouth gaping open and his eyes closed. Hux brushes the dark locks away, waving his fingers through the glossy tresses. Ren’s hair was such a staple of his character, but a little mark of vanity that he wore around proudly like a badge. Hux likes it. No one’s perfect, why should he pretend otherwise? He enjoys a little ego, keeps Ren honest.

Ren turns Hux onto his back, kissing his chest before lifting Hux’s legs, his ankles resting on Ren’s shoulders. He pivots into Hux deeply, moaning as he enters and he busies his hands in the sheets, grasping for some pretense of control in a situation in which he had none. He encourages Ren with his reactions, impossibly full when Ren is deepest inside him. Hux had never known a feeling like this, so explored and plundered and at some point when Ren’s reached a steady rhythm, drawing a sharp cry from Hux’s lips with every thrust, he wishes Ren could read his mind. He’d always wondered what that would be like and at this rate, with the noises he was making, he knows he should feel shameful but somehow that outer shell vanishes when Ren is near. He isn’t quiet, and he worries someone may hear but his concerns dissipate as Ren continues, pleasantly blanking his mind till the physical sensations become all he’s focused on.

“Ren, Ren…” He moans, his lips close to Hux’s and he reaches feebly for Ren’s ears, using them as a grip to kiss those lips. He used to find them obscene merely a day ago and now he’s kissing them as if it were the one thing he needed to survive and in some ways, he supposes it would be were he younger and more naive. When Ren comes, it feels like something that’ll never stop. He’s surprised Ren lasted this long, what with all his desperate whimpers as soon as he was all in. Hux follows soon after with the aid of one of Ren’s large warm hands. Large like every part of his body but with a certain charm. After, they don’t bother getting up for an hour or so, kissing and talking like they were teenagers again. It was if no time was lost in both their respective hardships while they remain in this bubble outside of time.

Hux realizes he’d like to stay in this bed forever and leave the horrors that await outside their door...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by [jeusus](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/) <3
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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a momentous defeat had rendered Armitage Hux's passion for the Jaeger Program useless, he's called back to action by a former general who informs him that the end of the world is surely on the horizon. He resolves to keep his distance and only aid in overseeing training and construction. That is, until he spars with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“All systems okay, Jaeger code name First Order ready for series of test 2.0.1 to 2.0.2. Matt?” Hux sniffs, blinking away the moisture from his eyes as a tide of soothing comfort encircles him. It’s Ren, and he’s apologizing for letting Hux see the memory but also consoling him as well. Hux feels his own emotions double into something similar to infatuation and Hux feels it’s too soon for that but from now on he can never hide a single thought from Ren again._  
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>  _“Everything is good down here,” Matt communicates from the bay containing the Jaeger. The coupling has already fused into the rest of the mech, awaiting their commands._
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> _“Ren?” Techie’s voice echoes and Hux feels himself acknowledging this as Ren does. “Armie? What’s your status?”_
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> Thanks for reading everyone!! Sorry it's taken so long to update, I have so much work to do before I graduate high school but once June rolls around I should be able to post more often. :) If you all want to follow me on [my tumblr](http://ashvalentine6x.tumblr.com/) I could always post updates, I just don't at the moment because I don't know if anyone would read them haha. The song referenced is I Melt With You by Modern English. <3 Anyways, enjoy!!!! <3 (Above text in italics is directly from the pictures featured below)

Hux finishes the conn-pod with enough time to make it to dinner with Ren. The welding was not done by him but he oversaw its perfect execution after he’d completed the designs and blueprints, showing the construction workers and assisting somewhat here and there. His genius was best resolved to design and supervision, not physical labor. That had proved an adverse situation once he’d tried it long ago in seemingly another life. After that he just sticks to what he does best.

The place where he meets Ren is small, an old school diner of sorts beyond the shatterdome on the beach. Today is a cold day and the table that Ren has picked out on the sand almost makes Hux turn back. It’s exceedingly chilly and by the time he sits he has half the mind to tell Ren to find better seating inside. He doesn't bother because the wind has died down slightly and the bite of cold is just a chill in his bones and nothing more. He hopes he hasn’t contracted a cold like an infant.

“This used to be my favorite place to come when I was a kid,” Ren smiles but there's something somber in his gaze. Hux guesses it's about Han and sighs mentally. He wishes he felt the level of mourning he had for his mother in the same capacity for his father.

“I'm sure it was lovely then,” Hux murmurs, glancing around the beach. The old torn iron from the Golden Gate Bridge looms in the distance at the mouth of the bay as a memorial to something he doesn’t want to remember. He’s sure it used to look like something of great majesty before the Kaiju war but now San Francisco Bay looks more like an old graveyard full of buildings not repaired or set foot on since K-Day. The Americans are quite iconic for their overflowing sentiment and inefficiency, but there is a certain charm accompanied by their trait of remembrance. Strange, that it only implements itself when they chose to recall such a thing.

“Yeh, it still has its charisma,” Ren grins, unperturbed by Hux’s lack of engagement and bitterness. Hux supposes he needs to not act so sultry, as Techie referenced. It does make him seem like Brendol and Hux always had resented his father for how he’d treated his mother at times. Cold, resigned, acting as if he’d known better than her always. She was more of a free spirit, kind and sweet and originating from a poor background, being the sole person in her family to ever attend university. She’d grown up in Queens and had met Brendol at Oxford after receiving scholarships and every penny her family owned to send her there.

“As long as a waiter finally shows up, I’ll be inclined to believe you.” Hux shrugs, startling a bit when Ren scoots his chair closer and squeezes Hux’s knee. His eyes are bright and happy and his grin is nearly contagious. He’d been glowing like this since they’d slept together, dotting on Hux with his fearless charm. After they’d parted ways, Techie arrived to the mess of blankets and Hux sitting at his desk in his underwear ruminating about the events that had transpired. He’d said nothing except grin madly and grab a few things before leaving for the day. Hux probably would have snapped at him if he spoke- instead he just made sure his smoldering scowl kept Techie’s mouth shut. He’s sure he told Matt and after that the news had gotten around. Phasma was sitting with him in the morning for breakfast along with the rest of the pilots- excluding those from _Echo Broadway_ : he still isn’t sure why the man and woman are so sour- blabbing about it, and the reason for it was because apparently they’d kept their neighbors awake.

“Sounds like he efficiently removed that stick from your ass and reinserted something else!” She’d howled like a baboon and Hux had wanted to storm away. He’d put up with the extent of that torture, featuring a flushed face and neck but Ren did not want to leave and didn’t seem as embarrassed. Losing his virginity must have given him a confidence booster if not additionally annoying arrogance. More so than usual.

The waiter does indeed arrive shortly after Hux’s impatient remark and he gets something simple- Ren was buying- opting for a plain- yet rather exceptional on his tongue- white pasta with mushrooms and a small glass of brandy on the side. He makes sure Ren get’s something non-alcoholic and teases him about the episode he’d had the night prior. The sun sets as their dinner arrives, casting rosy hues of light across the heavens while investing a feeling of oppressive romance that makes Hux slightly uneasy and not for the reason he expects. He’s not use to this; a gentle approach to intimacy as he’s mostly always been distanced from the like. Ren seems to imagine himself as the maudlin storybook version of a partner- hopelessly romantic and willing to pamper Hux as much as he’d allow; even without permission. He is overwhelmingly corny- hence the sunset dinner on the beach with soft glowing lanterns strung above their heads, the crash of waves not far off- but Hux realizes Ren is like this diner. He’s got an old school attitude towards relationships, slightly worn down and out of style but not without his own magnetism that draws from Hux the kinds of feelings he’d only ever seen in cheesy movies. Ren is still infuriating, but something about it isn’t as final anymore. He’s, well…a satisfying balance of both.

Hux watches as Ren digs into the large burger he’d gotten with a heap of fries and soda, his impossibly long black lashes gracing his cheeks, those large full lips… the strange oblong yet pleasing shape of his nose; his long hair swept back and groomed to suit him. Ren isn’t impossibly rakish but in his own way he gives the impression of accomplishing such a description. He isn’t the preconceived notion of handsome: he’s rugged and appealing but his effortless habit of convincing Hux he is just so is all he needs. Shamelessly, he is Hux’s, however bizarrely that can be put into a single title, and Hux is not above bragging a bit about the things he likes the most. He can’t see Ren as his boyfriend, and even lover sounds too bland and far too cliché. He supposes co-pilot is certainly enough for now and the definition is up to the two of them and no one else.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Ren says, his burger all but gone as he chomps the rest of his fries down. Hux had finished his pasta in a much more precise and prim fashion, unlike the ravenous animal before him who looks quite captivating in the light from the lanterns and the moon rising steadily above the waves.

“Well, I’ve been, uhh… ruminating about your lack of manners.” Hux recovers, though it isn’t convincing and the stammer alone seems to incite a victorious smirk to cross Ren’s features. “Your dinner didn’t stand a chance,” Ren chuckles, to Hux’s surprise dabbing at his mouth with a napkin before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it on the table; damning the entire display.

“No, it didn’t. I wanted some time for us and not just eating. We don’t have to be back at the base until ten,” His grin is slightly infectious and Hux smiles a little though just at the right side of his mouth.

“I suppose,” Hux grins fully now as Ren takes his hands and smooths over the back of them with his calloused thumbs. It’s soothing nevertheless and Hux stares into Ren’s eyes, trying not to allow the imaginary scolding at the back of his mind in the form of a nagging comment from his father disturb the moment. Brendol only put on the pretense that he was an impenetrable fortress of ice. Hux had once seen him smile and hold his mother towards the end of her life behind the cracked door of her office. He’d shown her the softest affection and it’d astonished Hux to see such behaviour though he was sure it was frequent in their private time, behind closed doors.

Ren is opening his mouth to say something when both of the comm bands on their wrists sound and a loud tsunami warning alarm blares throughout the city. Kaiju emergence. And yet… wouldn’t they have gotten a message before hand?

“Ren, Hux, get back to the base immediately! We have little time, something’s happened. We need you to pilot the Jaeger _now_!” It’s Sloane and they both vault out of their chairs, Ren leaving more than enough money as they dart off to get back into the car Ren had drove to arrive here while Hux had taken a cab. Once they’re in Ren doesn’t wait for Hux’s seatbelt to click before he’s burning rubber to kickstart their ride to the shatterdome. It must be a dangerous speed but Hux can’t see the speedometer and doesn’t care. He’s just sure that they need to get back quickly and can handle the rest later.

“What’s happened?” Hux says as he slams the doors open to the LOCCENT control room, joining the rest of the personnel as they scramble about, Techie on the comms as he issues orders handed down by Organa as quickly as she gives them.

“A Kaiju has emerged just one hundred miles off the coast without warning. We’ve double and even triple checked the sensors and they picked up nothing out of the ordinary except small fluctuations but that isn’t so strange, sometimes it just occurs and in the pretense of said emergence. We didn’t even know the thing was coming, it’s a Category 5.” Sloane lets that sink in as she walks briskly beside them on the way to prep, traversing stairs and catwalks beside them as the team assembles.

“The first one…” Hux murmurs and she nods.

“As far as we know, it has the ability to cloak its signature as it enters and exits the Breach. This is unprecedented as well as alarming and it’s headed straight for us. It’ll be here in twenty minutes and we need you as well as _X Machina_ , _Finalizer Equal_ , and _Jedha Four_ to guard the city and the bay.” Ren and Hux nod as the technicians help outfit them in their circuitry suit. This would unfortunately be the first and only test of the neural handshake between Ren and himself and it had to work, quickly, before they could engage. “The other three Jaegers are in position as we speak and will be awaiting your arrival. You two are merely a back up, and if it proves too overwhelming to the other rangers then you’ll be there to seal the deal. Understood?”

“Yes,” He and Ren say in unison, their masks fastening in place as the relay gel drains from their recently donned helmets and the process is complete.

“Get to your Jaeger and may all mercy be with you,” She says, watching as they get in before departing. Hux looks after her as the elevator rises, their gaze never breaking. He smiles at her, looking up as the lift clicks into place and they step out. Once they’ve exited the small adjacent corridor and entered the conn-pod they lock their armor into the machinery, breathing in long inhalations as the process of the drift is initialized.

“Remember, don’t chase the rabbit, don’t follow the memories, let them wash around you. It’s okay to see a particular one, but don’t hold on too long.” Hux advises, straightening his posture.

“Hux…” Ren whispers softly, his voice shaking through their private comm. Hux turns to look at him, his brow creasing in confusion until he remembers and his heart plummets downwards, feeling like it won’t stop.

“Ren… will you be okay?” Hux inquires, plagued with concern. Ren swallows loudly, nodding and closing his eyes.

“It’s been a long time, and I’ve never had someone I really trusted in my head. Let alone _anything_.” Ren whispers, taking a shaking breath that’s audible in Hux’s earpiece almost as if he were right there next to him.

“Neural handshake ready for initialization,” The computer announces, counting down from fifteen.

“As long as you’re the one in there, I know everything will be safe…” His voice fades softly as they’re temporarily torn from reality and into the expanse between their minds that would allow them to connect.

“Neural handshake, initiated.”

Being in Ren’s head is like being thrown into a shallow freezing river, jagged rocks scraping through his mind as he endures the memories. There’s so much- some old freighter on an open sea and his father throwing him over his shoulder while a toddler version of Ren giggles uncontrollably. Ren’s birthday, a little older and a morose look upon his face, his parents sneaking a look of sympathy when they thought he wasn’t looking as they came to the realization that his guests weren’t coming. Ren, plodding through some dark back alleyway in the rain with a few older boys when he was fifteen, on their way to break into shops only to be caught later, setting him up as the scapegoat while the rest of them escaped. The night after he’d left his parents, afraid he’d done the wrong thing, made the wrong move, and yet there was no turning back until a kind man in his thirties offered him a place to sleep and some food; leading to his induction ceremony into the Knights of Ren. Lastly, and fresh in Ren’s mind- turquoise eyes speckled with minuscule flecks of golden brown smoldering with fury before dissolving into another, clouded with brainless pleasure when the lighting changes from harsh to dark while a considering smile full of warmth envelops Ren. _Hux’s_ eyes, staring at Ren like he’s unique, like he isn’t worthless, like he could belong somewhere once and for all. Hux didn’t have time to acknowledge Ren’s seizures as a potential side effect when he drifts from Ren’s feelings on each of those memories. The thought occurs to him and it’s all he can think about, swirling around him while leading him down a dark path that transforms into a memory.

Ren is breathing hard before him as Hux loses himself to Ren’s point of view, forced to his knees by an unseen assailant that hangs back in the shadows. They gather and surge around the beam of light that is harsh and casting down on Ren. Exposing him: eviscerating and cold. A laugh, deep and sinister and insurmountably disturbing sounds from nearly everywhere as Ren’s shaking shoulders lift with soundless sobs, his tears tinged red and eyes burning with crimson edges as blood trickles down his nostrils to pool on his lips before spilling over.

“Disgrace,” The voice is like knives, metal on metal and Ren fears it’ll cut his ears open as well. “You dare oppose the hospitality that we offer you? You, a wailing waif who came to my doorstep begging to join us. If that is truly what you want, you will suffer more than-” The man who Ren knows to be Snoke is cut off by a distant howling that becomes a deafening roar. The voice chuckles again and the roof of the building is torn out, exposing even harsher rays of sunlight and a massive shadow thrust down by an even larger claw. The creature’s colossal head looms before Ren while it’s eyes glitter with hatred, straight into his as his bones and muscles become infused with dread. Ren cannot move, only knows this Kaiju is here for him, and will kill him because of his drifts. It’s killed so many already and won’t be defeated, it’ll add him to the roster and Ren isn’t afraid. He welcomes death.

Before he’s allowed that piercing mercy a giant metal fist punches the beast out of view, knocking the floor below out and leaving Ren to fall, fall until he hits the street twenty feet down, his breath escaping his lungs. He watches the hulking Jaeger defeat the monster, knowing vaguely in the back of his mind that it’s his uncle fighting above, destroying the thing that offered the opportunity to breakout from the hell he’d gotten himself into.

Hux finally comes back to himself as he watches Ren drag himself away, finding a coat that had once been on a hanger in the store across the street and he puts it on his shoulders, fleeing the scene as fast as he’s able with his now broken leg and ribs. Hux realizes this was the attack that’d killed Han Solo and Ren’s emotions surge into him: despair, survival, instinct, desperation, loss. He feels the bond between Ren and him solidify, strengthen, as Ren’s breathing begins to banish the memory. Hux knows Ren is seeing one of his own traumatic memories: the day Hux lost his mother. Watching it unfold on TV, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was in the building that he was watching the Kaiju destroy because she’d just called him in the middle of class to let him know she was at the hotel, babbling about the incredible service. He’d even been annoyed with her because she’d made him leave a very important lecture, but he’d at least told her he loved her because she’d gone very quiet and had apologized in her normally destructive way, breaking down any resolve Hux had ever had to stay angry just as she’d implemented with Brendol when he was being particularly unreasonable.

Hux doesn’t realize he’s crying until reality slams into his senses, the neural handshake achieved. Tears don’t trickle past his eyes but they gather around the corners and without having to look he knows this is happening to Ren as well. They’re now effortlessly connected, the gears sounding loudly above as Techie’s voice floods the comms.

“All systems okay, Jaeger code name _First Order_ ready for series of test 2.0.1 to 2.0.2. Matt?” Hux sniffs, blinking away the moisture from his eyes as a tide of soothing comfort encircles him. It’s Ren, and he’s apologizing for letting Hux see the memory but also consoling him as well. Hux feels his own emotions double into something similar to infatuation and Hux feels it’s too soon for that but from now on he can never hide a single thought from Ren again.

“Everything is good down here,” Matt communicates from the bay containing the Jaeger. The coupling has already fused into the rest of the mech, awaiting their commands.

“Ren?” Techie’s voice echoes and Hux feels himself acknowledging this as Ren does. “Armie? What’s your status?”

“We are ready to begin initializing action,” The two of them say in harmony. They lock their fists forward mimicking movement that the Jaeger in turn responds with so quickly that it’s a blur. His last minute adjustments to the Jaeger’s reflex speed is paying off admirably.

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” Hux speaks, flexing his arm. The computer sounds the affirmative alarm and Hux smiles wickedly. He can’t help feeling a little pride in his accomplishment and Ren’s satisfaction from Hux’s emotions is almost arousing.

“Left hemisphere calibrating,” Ren responds in turn, following Hux’s actions to the most essential detail.

“The Kaiju has already met _Jedha Four_ and _Finalizer Equal_. You both are expected to engage in five minutes.” General Organa’s voice dispatches through their conn-pod as the bay doors open and rain rolls in, battering the beach and the water sprawled out before their Jaeger. As they move their limbs the two march on, suspended by an instrument of vengeance as it parts the waves and advances through them like a force of nature. Flashes of lightning illuminate the scene transpiring, the creature- codenamed _Caenum_ \- tears into the exterior exoskeleton of _Jedha Four_ , ripping the Jaeger’s arms off as _X Machina_ dashes to the rescue.

“We need to hurry, _now_!” Hux shouts as they traipse through the waves that beat them in the malevolent storm that only began once the Kaiju attack had commenced. They’re still roughly a mile and a half off, desperately writhing towards the scene unfolding as bitter consternation envelops the two of them through the mind-meld like a thunderclap. _Jedha Four_ doesn’t stand a chance: they’re still proceeding when an additional Kaiju rockets out of the ocean’s depths, ripping the conn-pod from the metal of the rest of the Jaeger while spewing it’s acidic poison into the torn open hull. Hux feels a chill race through him, and not his own. Ren is trembling as they advance and Hux flips on their rockets, soaring forward while simultaneously deploying his chain sword. It plunges into its target’s chest, clean through while glowing red- cauterizing the creature while killing it. He and Ren motion up, the sword ascending through the Kaiju as it splits it’s skull in half.

The comms are spotty as he hears yelling, turning the Jaeger to see the first Kaiju breaking off one of _X Machina’s_ legs.

“We’re coming _X Machina_ , hold on!” Phasma shouts through the comms and static, he and Ren preparing to act but Organa’s command halts them mid turn.

“ _No_ , you two need to stay at the coastline. I won’t have you risking your Jaeger, they can handle it!” Hux’s chest sinks inwardly, glancing at Ren who looks equally as stricken. They have to watch their friends and other rangers be killed…

“We can’t…” Ren murmurs softly as his eyes drop deeply into Hux, the Kaiju swinging it’s tail to smack into _Finalizer Equal_ while tearing into the chest plating on _X Machina_.

“We must.” They advance, ignoring Organa’s protests when a third Kaiju breaks from the waves in front of them. Impossible…

“Submerge!” Ren yells and they dive beneath the waves as the creature rockets over them, turning with one glance of pure hatred before barreling towards the city.

“After it!” Hux growls but the first Kaiju seems to take an interest in them at this moment, abandoning an otherwise destroyed _X Machina_ \- he can only hope Poe and Jessika are okay and they haven’t suffered the same fate as Erso and Andor- while leaving _Finalizer Equal_ stunned and barely functioning. _Caenum_ places a claw on each side of the torso section, digging in as he and Ren yell in pain. Though it is muted, the sensation is still real. Hux’s fingers fly on the control board in front of him, triggering the plasmacaster that’s integrated into the dorsal plating.

“Charging,” The computer reports as they struggle to maintain a non fatal vice grip with the monster.

“Come on, girl, don’t let me down,” Hux mutters, knowing talking to a machine is ridiculous but in cases such as these… The weapon charges as Ren moves to his control board. “Fire!” Ren’s thumb stabs the button as the blast shoots directly into the Kaiju’s chest, _Finalizer Equal_ sluggishly moving forward to drive their chain sword through the beast’s neck, decapitating it. The massive head tumbles into the water while the grip on the _First Order_ slackens and they dash forward.

“You two take care of the city, we’ll guard here in case anymore appear,” It’s Mitaka and Hux nods.

“Thank you, make sure _X Machina_ is okay would you?” Hux asks as Organa orders search and rescue parties while he and Ren make landfall, following the fiery path of destruction towards the city’s heart. Hux feels an overwhelming surge of anger when he notices the beach front restaurant with the lanterns obliterated by the creature. He and Ren’s spot reduced to oblivion, a place where he'd felt alright being someone else, being truly seen. No, not someone else… his true self…

“Oh no…” Ren voices their fears as the path winds towards the shatterdome.

“It’s impenetrable,” Hux says, though he doesn’t believe his own words.

“ _First Order_!” It’s Organa, desperate as the sound of screaming and loud crashing becomes audible in the background of her voice. “Get to the shatterdome, quickly! It’s destroying the-” She’s cut off then, nothing but static burning through the air and Ren roars in outrage, feeding their frenzy as they sprint through the city, jumping off a large overpass to fall utop the creature while simultaneously ripping it away from the base. _Techie is in there…_ Hux fights with equal revenge, letting hate spill into every move the Jaeger makes as it does from Ren. Their fury together is nearly unsettling but it fuels a power that he’d never known before or in any of his previous battles. He won't lose his last living family member, his sole connection to the most comfort he’s ever known and fighting beside a man who provides ample amounts of that with the same intent is like surging with electricity, defending each of their families from this repulsive monster. All Hux knows is that they must succeed, must come out victorious lest they doom the entire fate of the planet. Everything, every miniscule reaction is teetering on the premise of an abyss and in beating this monster they will provide some more of the crumbling ledge they are risking toppling over. This Kaiju is different as well; more lithe and thin but with enormous fangs and claws that pierce their Jaeger but only drive on their determination to make this son of a bitch bite the dust.

“Activate both left and right chainswords,” Hux commands, thrusting his fist forward to bring his blade to a solid edge. Ren does the same, slashing at the creature as it roars hatefully at them, the fangs protruding from it’s upper lip somehow elongating to stretch towards its chest, its foremost claws doing the same. “Let’s kill this fuck,” He growls as they thrust first, slicing into the Kaiju’s shoulder, another in the stomach. It’s a deep enough cut to allow blood to slosh from and he knows they need to aim for that area again as the beast roars in agony before slicing at their Jaeger’s shoulder on Hux’s side. Hux gasps, the pain temporarily blinding him. Something about this creature’s claws is different-

“Hux, careful, the fangs and the claws spew venom!” Ren calls out to him, dodging a swipe as he thrusts upwards, cutting that arm off cleanly. They wrestle the beast into a valley, the monster raking it's claws up their Jaeger’s side. Ren cries out in pain and Hux reacts by swinging his fist around to catch the monster’s jaw, a loud satisfying crunch echoing down the hillside. More acidic venom secretes from the claws and Hux taps and few emergency buttons that release water gates, washing the bubbling liquid off.

“They’ve adapted, again.” Hux snarls bitterly, activating the plasma caster on the Jaeger’s chest and letting it charge while they slice a fang off at near the monster’s mouth. “We need to aim for the torso, you see it?” Ren snickers playfully though there’s a hint of malice for the Kaiju.

“I’m in your head, I know,” He smirks devilishly, the both of them thrusting their swords in an x formation, letting them stab into the creature’s chest and lifting it in a vulgar display, the monster thrashing in their grip before the plasma caster charges to full power.

“Fuck you,” Hux mutters, firing into the wound they’d created before in the Kaiju’s abdomen. It splits it open completely, entrails falling out onto the hillside behind the shatterdome. Kaiju Blue splashes the grass and dirt in brilliant aqua hues as the Kaiju falls limp. The two of them aren’t about to think it’s that easy and they decapitate this Kaiju as well, slicing it’s chest open further before reaching into the ruined torso to rip the heart free from the creature’s ribs. They hold it up, triumphant as cheers rise up from the damaged base. The two of them rush back to the shatterdome, docking in one of the bays that didn’t get obliterated by the Kaiju attack. They disconnect and remove their helmets, rushing down corridors without wasting time in removing their suits. When they get to LOCCENT control, the observational panels have been shattered and some consoles are on fire, though everyone seems alright. Hux looks around, his heart pounding more audibly with every passing second that he doesn’t see Techie and once his eyes hone in on some strands of red hair on the floor his chest caves in painfully.

“Techie!” Hux shouts, the rest of the world dissipating into a distant mist as he rushes over. His brother’s legs are pinned beneath a beam and the situation snaps him back to the past when Techie had been in a similar situation, the horror rushing into Hux like a tidal wave. He lifts the beam with difficulty, heavy as he shoves it off with a shout and runs his gloved fingers across Techie’s cheek. He coughs weakly and peers up through the haze of confusion.

“Armie?” He murmurs and Hux nods, tears pooling in his eyes before spilling over. “I’m okay, ha,” He chuckles softly before coughing again. “I think my legs are messed up again. I fell is all, when that beam came down. The legs you built saved me.” He smiles fondly at Hux and he caresses his brother’s cheek before helping him into a sitting position.

“They don’t work?” Hux knows the answer is no, because the legs have been mangled below the knee by the steel beam but Techie doesn’t betray a single look of sorrow or anger.

“Nope, that’s alright though I just have a few bruises here and there. And it didn’t hurt this time,” He smiles though that doesn’t fail to block the harrowing feeling Hux gets when he remembers it was his fault Techie got injured in the first place. And once again, because the Kaiju got past their Jaeger. “Stop blaming yourself, brother. The entire world could come tumbling down and you'd think it was your fault.” Techie says, hugging Hux and absorbing his sobs. The tears have long since dried; Hux’s body is rolling trying to overcome the pain of almost losing his twin.

“Hux, everything seems okay.” Ren is there, placing a hand on Hux’s back while Leia stands behind him sporting a grisly cut to her forehead though it must have only been a scratch: head wounds bleed a lot. “Although…” Ren looks away, his eyes clouded with something resembling misery.

“What.” He asks flatly, whirling on Ren. “Well, out with it!” He roars accusingly, standing while Matt- disheveled while his broken glasses dangle from his torn shirt- helps Techie onto a chair. Ren’s eyes flash with pain as he nods to a hand motionlessly dangling from a gurney. Icy fear curdles in his stomach in waves of terror. He walks slowly, his vision tunneling on the hand that doesn't move, won't stir. He falls to his knees, grasping it while EMT’s scramble to right vital signs. He hears a beep but follows as she's pulled down hallways and corridors and out onto an ambulance, her heart rate sporadic.

“Hux-”

“I'm accompanying Rae to the hospital, I don't need you,” He bites at Ren and the doors slam closed to Ren looking as if Hux had just twisted a knife into his side. He doesn't have time to dwell on it as her eyes flutter open, losing copious amounts of blood still.

“Armitage?” She whispers, gripping his hand as he sits in stoic shock.

“I'm here,” He murmurs, brushing her hair away from her forehead. She smiles softly as the team of emergency staff scramble about to keep her alive.

“If I… don't make it,” She says and when he tries to tell her not to speak her lacerating stare cuts his words off immediately. “Know that it has been a privilege to aid in your upbringing. Your fighting was admirable, and honorable. I know I couldn't always stop the old buzzard from hurting you or your brother, but I've always tried to keep you protected from that. You and Techie have been like sons to me… please take care of each other. And don’t be afraid to show a little emotion from time to time… you were always more so like your mother than you thought...” Her last words are soft, cloying at his ears like cotton that cushions the fall of the rest of his body. The impact of her whispering weighs heavy on his chest and he feels something break inside his chest. Not disappear but… create something new. He loses composure as her vitals go flat, reminding him too much of the two parents that he’s also had to let go.

He clutches her hand tightly and weeps at last.

 

* * *

 

“Armitage, I'm sorry for your loss,” The words bounce around his head, trying to find some tendril of thought that might latch on. The voice belongs to Organa, she's standing to the right of him as he stares at the window into a room in the hospital with no real thoughts incurring action of any sort. Rae has been dead for eight hours- Hux has remained staring at the opaque glass of the morgue since her body was carted in. When he doesn't respond Organa puts a hand on his shoulder to which he doesn't shrug off- to his surprise.

“Thank you,” His voice comes out sounding like his throat had been burned beneath a slow flame. She strokes his shoulder softly; he’d at least stripped the armor off, sitting in his circuitry suit. The armor is lying all around him in the chairs, the sleek black reflective surface reminding him that he blubbered like an invalid- he doesn’t want to remember. The suit on him is tight fighting and a part of him twinges as the recollection of Ren comes up without his permission. He slumps his shoulders. He should be feeling more regret for how he’d treated Ren- wasn’t it warranted though? Surely Ren would understand… right?

“I have discerned the deeper relationship you seem to have developed with my son,” Hux’s blood runs cold. She sounds tired moreover, not disapproving and angry- it was almost as if she’d read his mind. She tuts humorously, patting his back with a bit more vigor. “I don’t mind, in fact he’s never been in a relationship as far as I’ve known. I doubt he’d be able to hide it from me anyways,” She smiles. “When he came back to me, he’d been through so much…” She says, echoing her ruminations from the previous day. Or perhaps two days ago now, it’s well past three in the morning. “I drifted with him, to take the load off of his brain. He was fragile and the doctors said it was the best chance at preventing further brain damage, easing the burden or what have you whilst I was the most likely candidate. I saw his life, felt everything… it was the single most important, cherished moment in my life besides his birth,” She murmurs thickly, clearing her throat when she sits gently into the seat beside Hux as if she is afraid it will drop away from her reach. She is more like Hux than she is like Ren: matter-of-fact, understanding but not overly sentimental. Unless it results in saving the maximum amount of lives possible despite rational logic.

“I… didn’t know that…” He swallows, regaining some of his normal timbre.

“It’s not something I’ve told anyone, really. Only the doctors, myself, and Ren know. But, seeing how animated and luminous he’s been because he’s spent time in your company, I thought you should be aware. It is his vulnerability to be connected to someone, his father was like a wall going up. He’s changed, not drastically, but more practical. The wonder has ceased to persevere in his eyes, and he’s fragile to any connection. I don’t mean to scold here Armitage, or play a hand I may be over exaggerating. He needs you, more than you know.” She rises, leaving him alone in the hallway. Hux stares after her, shocked. Had Leia Organa just threatened him not to break her son’s heart? It seems so, and at the same time he feels offended by the very notion- how could he? He needs Ren too in a sense and perhaps not just for the occasional fuck. He supposes Ren must have had some reaction after Hux had let the ambulance door slam closed, scalding him with a poorly timed statement. They’d both come close to losing someone, and just because he had doesn’t mean he needs to cut everyone off as a result.

His ears pick up the slightest _ding_ sound and he turns, seeing Techie being pushed in a wheelchair towards him by Matt and as soon as they exit the elevator doorway he sees Ren, looking like a dog who’d just been swatted at with a newspaper. Hux jolts out of his seat, running past his twin in a dash of mad desperation as he launches into Ren’s arms and kisses his lips with the most apologetic, tender intensity he could manage, afraid he’d never be able to stop.

“Hux,” Ren chuckles, caressing his legs that currently are wrapped around Ren’s waist, arms clinging to his neck.

“I’m so sorry, please… never let me go,” Hux whispers, nuzzling Ren’s sweet smelling locks of impossibly glossy hair, finding the most comfort he’s been able to scavenge in the past twelve hours.

“Never,” He echoes, stroking Hux’s hair.

After talking with Techie and hugging him through his own crying they say one final goodbye to Rae before leaving the hospital. Rae had never had any special plans for how her funeral may go, but had only one request: that he and Techie would posses a small bottle of her ashes. Hux knows he’ll put his on a necklace, and Techie resolves to do the same. They had let the person in charge know before they’d gone.

“The shatterdome is useless now,” There is a transport waiting outside where they meet Organa and she announces this as soon as they’re in the vehicle. “We need to relocate to Los Angeles if our mission to destroy the Breach is to be successful,” She murmurs, looking exhausted.

“And what of the Jaegers that were still housed during the attack?” Hux inquires.

“Safe. Both _Firebrand Imperial_ and _Echo Broadway_ manned their Jaegers at the end of the attack after you two had lured the creature away.” She gestures to he and Ren who are practically glued at the hip. “They moved aside some of the heavier infrastructure that had collapsed around the shatterdome. All the Jaegers are alright, besides _Jedha Four_ and _X Machina_ …” She trails off quietly, swallowing. “Captain Cassian Andor and Major Jyn Erso will have an honorable funeral in Los Angeles. Poe and Jessika…” She cuts off and stares out the window for a moment, visibly taking a deep breath to center herself. “They seem like they’ll make it, though it’s not certain. They were still linked, when the attack occurred. It seems their comas are linked as well. They must remain in an induced drift until they come out of the coma. There is no telling how long that will take, the mind is fragile. Their physical conditions are stable, however. Mitaka and Phasma showed valor, and have finished with only some minor bruising and lacerations. You two and your Jaeger saved the city,” She smiles tightly, looking at them. Ren looks at Hux, despair dimming the victorious glint in his eyes. He squeezes Ren’s hand and Organa stays silent.

The next half hour is spent salvaging the belongings Hux had in his bunk. They remain fairly intact; it’s his schematics that have suffered the most damage- a few tears that can certainly be fixed. He recovers his old radio from beneath the protection of the bunk, smiling faintly as he brushes the dust off it. He’s had it since he was a teenager, letting it blare the latest punk rock. That is the one contradictory thing about him that makes the least coherent sense. He is prim, well mannered, and by all means brought up by a well off family, considered noble back home in England. He had a phase that never went away: he’d love blaring heavy rock music from his second floor bedroom, so much so that it would annoy Brendol. So many CD’s accumulated in that time that they’d taken over nearly half his engineering bookshelf but without regrets of course. He packs the old radio into the bag he’d brought after a cursory check to make sure it is still functional. He meets with Ren who shoulders a similarly sized bag and they walk to the tarmac together, boarding and grabbing a more silent seat in the back of the plane away from the rest of the rangers and pilots. Organa herself has taken another jet with the other majors and generals, leaving fifteen minutes prior.

“I’m sorry our date was ruined,” Ren murmurs, squeezing Hux’s hand sympathetically. He chuckles tiredly, resting his head against Ren’s shoulder as the cabin’s lights dim and the plane lurches forward. It’s one of those old seven forty-sevens, built to accommodate commercial flight but renovated to suit the needs of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. He didn’t realize they were this poorly funded, so much so that Organa had said, “We’re not an army anymore, Armitage. We’re the resistance.”

“Nevermind, you can make it up to me later,” Hux murmurs softly, absentmindedly nibbling at Ren’s earlobe. He shifts in his seat and lets his large right hand rest on Hux’s leg, covering it completely as his long fingers dig into the soft flesh of his inner thigh through the fabric.

“What about now?” Ren asks, his voice low and Hux shivers. He peeks around the cabin despite the foolishness of the comment. They are the only ones that are curtained off in this section of the plane, mostly for privacy and sleep. There is a lavatory in the front of the plane and one in the back, the schematics for this type of model pooling in his mind when his cock begins to stir in his pants at the heat of Ren’s hand being so close.

“You’re an animal, you know that?” Hux murmurs after a long sloppy kiss that has him tenting the pants he’d changed into before boarding the flight now, his cock almost impossibly full and heavy. Ren growls as if to prove Hux’s point, the sound sinking into the pit of his stomach and furthering his itching need to have Ren now; there is no way he’s going to last the rest of the ride. It is a surprise to him, his sudden overwhelming craving for Ren like he hasn’t had this in months as opposed to the actual twenty-four hours or so.

“Into the bathroom, general,” Ren murmurs and Hux pulls away, looking at Ren with shock. “I saw your desires,” Hux gasps when Ren’s hands rest on his chest, thumbs circling around his peaked nipples. “I was in your head, inside you, _everywhere_.” Hux moans outright this time as the seatbelt sign switches off and Ren unbuckles him, grazing his hard dick through his pants. He pulls him up by the lapels of his coat and drags him down the aisle, shoving him into the small compartment that seemed ill suited to be comfortable for a fuck. Yet, Hux doesn’t care. Rough treatment was always something he secretly had a lewd desire for but it’s no longer a secret with Ren rooting around in his head before and after their drift. It’s called a ghost drift, and it occurs as a side effect to the intensity of an actual drift. Due to their already increasingly active relationship developing outside of co-piloting a Jaeger, their ghost drift is strong. He can only feel impulses nevertheless, Ren’s emotions. It's enough to draw Hux’s interest entirely, echoing Ren’s groan when he rubs the front of his hips against Hux’s.

“Been thinking about this, since the last time,” Ren growls and Hux snickers, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Whether it is a romantic sentiment or aiming higher it's hard to tell with Ren, even as their connection strengthens.

“Me fucking you or…?” Ren cuts him off with a kiss before turning him around, bending him over nearly the entire length of the small compartment as his head rests against his forearms on the small counter and sink. Ren’s intentions are quite obvious with that action.

He’s quite ready due to all of Ren’s low whisperings to the wet kisses and all his adolescent groping. Hux can’t really argue- it’s not as if he’s all that experienced himself. One mild fuck in the showers when he was a teenager doesn't exactly make him an expert now. Still, the way Ren’s hands brush over his skin under his shirt sends tingles that flutter downwards to the deepest part of him as if bolstering him in preparation for what is about to come next. He can’t remember a time before this, immersed in the moment as Ren pulls Hux’s pants and underwear down past his knees, letting them hit the floor with a dull thud.

“Did you think to bring lube?” Hux asks incredulously, tssking under his breath as he turns his cheek to stare at Ren. He already has a tube of something in his hand and he slicks his enormous cock with it, sighing.

“You have little faith,” Ren murmurs, biting his lip as he spreads Hux’s ass cheeks apart. Hux jerks back into the feeling, trying to relieve a little of the pressure on his dick by bumping it against the counter. He’s in an awkward position to do so and he blames Ren, knowing he must have some inkling of an idea about this. Ren rubs a small amount of lube around his trembling hole, already wanting this so much that he’s arching into Ren’s caresses with a disturbing amount of need. Ren’s thumb takes too long to slip inside, making Hux hiss in pleasure, gyrating his hips against Ren’s massive hands. He withdraws and Hux whines at the slightest bump of Ren’s cockhead- so large, pulsing with the same kind of longing. He averts his eyes, avoiding the filthy display- though he does love watching when he’s in a better position- while relying only on sensation as Ren pushes in slowly, enough to make Hux gasp and inhale sharply. He attempts to conceal any noise that might give away his fleeting discomfort before the real pleasure begins.

“Are you alright?” Ren murmurs and Hux nods.

“Don’t fucking _stop_ Ren- ahhh…” He loses all coherent thought when Ren presses on, dipping his hips at such an angle that Hux moans lowly, hands scrambling for a purchase on the sleek surface. Once he’s all in, Hux gasping for breath and shaking, Ren nips at Hux’s neck and suckles at the skin there. He pulls almost all the way out, holding Hux open around the tip before pushing in again, repeating the action for some minutes. Hux groans, his mouth becoming wetter as he keeps up his sluggish pace. Hux feels torn apart and put back together all at once, desperately trying to grasp onto some thought process as Ren starts to slam into him with vigor.

“Going to make you want me so bad… begging me to let you come until you’re in tears.” Ren grunts, brushing his hands up Hux’s waist before resting on his ass again. Hux tries to laugh but it comes out more like a garbled moan when Ren snaps his hips forward in an unexpectedly rough fashion.

“Like hell I will,” Hux whimpers, condemning his declaration.

“Then you’ll take all my come and let it soak your thighs,” Ren whispers in his ear, disturbing the hair there and tickling his ear lobe.

“Yes, Ren, _yes_ …” Hux’s breath hitches as he bites his lip so hard he breaks the skin. His boots scuffle forward with each thrust, creating a rhythm on the floor, his moans echoing through the air as the blaring engine conceals some of his cracked cries of pleasure. Ren leans down to press his chest to Hux’s back, wrapping one strong arm around his hips while using the other to stroke along the length of Hux’s cock. He jerks, moaning and thrusting his hips forward to try and fuck his hand, getting nowhere with Ren’s loose grip. Ren mouths at his neck, soft bruises blossoming on the skin as Hux swallows pained gasps.

“Do you need more?” Ren growls and Hux nods, bumping his forehead into the wall. Ren chuckles, his breath tickling the back of Hux’s neck as he presses his fingers over Hux’s nipples. His cock twitches in Ren’s hand, jerking forward as precome beads along the slit before dripping down Ren’s long fingers. Hux is so impossibly full, stuffed with so much of Ren and yet still somehow hungering for more, more, until he's sated this unquenchable lust. A part of him knows that isn't possible for if it were, he'd never have need of Ren again. That will never become true in Hux’s life time.

“Fuck… I knew from the moment I saw you, I wanted you.” Hux surprises himself by saying this. Ren’s pace stutters slightly before picking up again with interest, pulling a shocked noise from Hux's throat with every movement of his hips.

“That makes two of us,” Ren chuckles, though it's airy. He must be close, as Hux is.

“Perhaps it was only because I presumed you had a big dick,” Hux remarks and Ren uses more force, deadening Hux's thought process as if to place emphasis on Hux’s last statement.

“Mmm, but you wanted me for more than that yes? You could have had anyone to fill your sweet lonely ass but it had to be me. Am I right?” Ren huffs and Hux arches his back, stretching as his eyes fall shut.

“Yes, yes it had to be you,” Hux moans and grips his cock with his right hand. Ren doesn't protest, digging a thumb into Hux’s neck and the other keeping a steady hold on his skinny waist. “You must have planned it, you're insufferable you know, god-”

“So are you with all that talk of how I'm an imbecile. You seem to shut up when I'm filling you with cock like a stuffed bird. Just waiting for me to devour you whole.” Hux bursts out laughing, dragging away from the climax that had been creeping up on him.

“What? Ren that's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.” Hux hiccups around a little gasp of something mixed with mild humor and pleasure. “You're so, I can't even find words to describe you. You're just the right amount of senselessness and perfect.” Ren pulls out of him softly and turns Hux around, propping him against the wall when he tears their shirts off, kissing Hux’s tender lips.

“So are you,” Ren murmurs, swallowing the gasp that leaves Hux’s parted mouth. Hux digs his short nails into Ren’s shoulders, throwing his head back to allow Ren’s lips to press kisses to his jawline. His thrusts become more sporadic, the slant of his god-like hips hitting that one spot just perfectly and for a moment Hux doesn’t resent his small stature. It is an advantage in a situation such as this one. Ren’s large hands on his ass, holding him up against the wall while Hux braces himself against the powerful biceps that bring him into a sitting position for this particular occasion. _This is mine…_ Hux thinks, brushing the hair from Ren’s face to expose his simmering gaze, pupils fat as he stares into Hux as if exposing something sacred that had been carefully concealed. He strokes his dick, faster as Ren nears his own orgasm, making some kind of shattered sound in his throat as he fucks Hux exquisitely.

“You’re… so _good_ Ren…” Hux murmurs and Ren flicks his gaze back up.

“Say more,” He commands and Hux is almost tempted to refuse.

“Holding me like this, against the wall like only my pleasure matters to you. Make me come, Ren, make me scream your bloody name till it’s the last thing I remember.” Ren comes then, hard inside him as he slams Hux against the wall, burying his face in Hux’s neck while simultaneously stroking his cock. Hux comes across Ren’s stomach, a low succession of sighs and groans pouring from his mouth. Ren kisses him then, heaving a large breath and exhaling it against Hux’s tongue.

“I…” Ren swallows heavily, smiling at Hux as he pulls out gently, biting his wrist before helping Hux clean up with the little hand towels. He slips his shirt on and continues after Hux gives him an expectant stare, tugging his own shirt on and pants while buckling his belt through the loops of his slacks. Ren stands back for a moment in appraisal before allowing a traitorous grin to slip over his lips. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” Hux sniffs, his own smile betraying his impassive expression to reveal how he truly feels.

“Of course you haven’t, there isn’t anyone else like me.” Hux sighs contently when Ren presses him against the wall more softly this time.

“I won’t try to look anyways, far too much work when I’ve got you right where I want you.” Ren smirks and Hux cocks an eyebrow.

“And where’s that?” Ren takes hold of his waist.

“I think you can imagine,” Ren kisses his neck, slipping his hand into Hux’s before guiding him out of the bathroom. Nobody seems to have noticed except Phasma and Mitaka have migrated to their section of the cabin. Phasma is passed out on a seat a few rows behind theirs, Mitaka staring blankly out the window beside her. Ren and Hux exchange a glance before resuming their seats and he gives Mitaka a reassuring smile before sitting.

The rest of the plane ride is brief, lasting only thirty minutes more. Hux peeks out the window to take in the shoreline appearing in the dark, lights illuminating the piers and beachfront like glittering jewels. Los Angeles has been exceedingly well defended, suffering minimal to no damage since the first Kaiju attack. As Hux can recall, it used to be defended by three Jaegers for most of the war but two have been destroyed and the other sent to Japan: the one that went down in Tokyo. Hux doesn’t remember much about L.A, he’d only been here once when he was nine. It is a city suffocated by smog and greed and Hux hadn’t liked it very much. He’d come to love the town that he grew up in just south of Scotland. Carlisle didn’t get much snowfall but when it did it was magnificent. Everyone else in his family had hated it, but it was so pristine, flawless. It coated the ground in a sea of cotton and Hux loved it. It was pure, and made everything quiet.

“Did you forget anything?” Ren asks for the third time as they’re walking over a small crossing to a large vehicle waiting for them. Phasma and Mitaka are loading up, the rest of the pilots shuffling into the crowded transport.

“No, of course. I wish you’d stop asking that.” Hux groans, loading his luggage into the back with the rest that was taken out of the airplane. They squeeze in beside Phasma and she gives Hux a sleepy smile.

“What a ride, eh?” She murmurs and Hux shrugs, trying to smile back without looking too drowsy. “Shame, I quite liked San Francisco.” Hux sighs.

“I did as well,” He murmurs, staring out the window while dozing off on Ren’s shoulder a few times on their way to the new shatterdome. It was built when a stadium had been destroyed during an attack, constructed more recently and larger than the last one. Organa is waiting for them when they arrive, the two of them carrying their things to their new bunks. She doesn’t bother with a speech, the time for that has passed. The fate of what comes next is far too dire to dwell upon now.

“Um… Mom.” Ren stops her after she’s assigned everyone but the four of them- Matt, Techie, he and Ren- bunks, whispering to her under his breath before turning to Hux with a triumphant grin. He’d probably smile back if he wasn’t so tired, but Ren does look extremely attractive when he genuinely smiles like this.

“Wait aren’t I supposed to be with Techie?” Hux asks around a huge yawn. Ren weaves an arm through his and tugs him toward their door.

“She said we can room together,” He grins and Hux understands, nodding and feeling grateful though not willing to flaunt it like a teenager. Still he can’t help but feel a little giddy excitement balloon in his chest as if he were getting away with something. It had been a long time, before Ren, when he’d ever shacked up with someone though that was more for training and not for pleasure. The cadet program required siblings to be separated, so Hux had been placed in a bunk with three other cadets: all of who did not speak to him much or care for him for that matter. He holds on to Ren’s arm, following him in.

These rooms are much bigger than the last ones, and much more refined. There is a washroom built in rather than just a modest sink, and the beds are even larger. He presumes Ren won't be sleeping in the other anyway. Hux sets up his things on the far counter after Ren dumps his bag on the other. Hux takes great care in organization and neatness, placing all of his items precisely on the steel surface. He takes out the radio last, making it the centerpiece of his side of the room and it's almost as if Ren has sniffed it out when he turns his head to gaze at it in wonder.

“You have one of these things?” Ren murmurs in astonishment, looking at it as if it's some kind of magical item and not some beat up old box of metal.

“Yeah, I love this. I used to listen to it all the time.” Hux chuckles, setting it down. Clearly that isn’t the end of it for Ren; he searches for a station before settling on a song from over forty years prior; one of Hux’s favorites.

“Do you like…?” Ren asks and Hux kisses him hard on the mouth.

“I love this song,” He grins, letting Ren hold him from behind as he mouths the words.

_Moving forward using all my breath, making love to you was never second best. I saw the world crashing all around your face, never really knowing it was always… mesh and lace._

Ren sways him in his arms, the both of them exhausted. They hadn’t slept on the plane ride and after the Kaiju attack Hux had been in the hospital and Ren had been helping load the salvaged supplies into trucks and transports. Ren slips his hand into Hux’s, the other firmly on his waist as he gazes into the chocolate pools of Ren’s irises, so warm that Hux just wants to sink into them and never resurface. Ren smiles gently, stroking his thumb over Hux’s bottom lip before leaning in to kiss him, pulling off Hux’s clothes in the sluggish, strewn out process.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired,” Hux murmurs, yawning into Ren’s shoulder when they’ve buried themselves in blankets, the heater along the wall coming on. It is a chilly December night, much more frigid than in San Francisco but mainly because of the shatterdome’s inner climate. The stone turns to ice at night.

“I feel like I could sleep through the apocalypse,” Ren chuckles and Hux snickers in mock aggravation.

“You better make sure I sleep as long as you do,” Hux laughs and Ren strokes his cheek.

“Why? Can’t stand to be away from me? After you would have so readily disposed of me a few days ago?” He’s teasing, mostly, but Hux has always been one to answer with carefully structured responses.

“Of course I’d miss the arrogance too,” Ren snorts when he says so. “And the showmanship, the anger. But.” Hux caresses Ren’s cheek in a few places before leaning back to study him again. “I’d miss your eyes most of all and how I can’t help but try to find where they begin, no matter how futile…” He looks away timidly, trying to bury his gaze somewhere where it might not be criticized by such a lovingly exposing stare.

“You try to act so tough, but really…” Ren cups his cheek and turns it so their eyes meet. “You’re so very sweet, it’s almost corny.” Hux scowls and Ren laughs sleepily, pressing his forehead against Hux’s.

“You’re absurd,” Hux snickers and Ren smiles softly, sinking into sleep.

“And that’s why we fit so well together…” All the problems, all the tragedy, Rae’s death- it all drops away into another place inside Hux, dormant, the second Ren’s arms encircle him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is that lovely artwork by [jeusus](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/) <3 <3 <3


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